Every woman wants to be loved and cherished by spending her life with a man who provides the necessary sense of security, shows care and, of course, expresses love and affection. But what you should do if this seemingly ideal man is already in a relationship with another woman? Experts provide useful tips – what to do if you’re the mistress in your relationship.
“To find out if a man is planning to divorce his wife and build a relationship with his new crush, all you have to do is talk to the man himself. Be prepared that his answer will not always be true and realistic.
Of course, in such situation, mature people want to plan their lives, set goals and understand what to count on and what not, which is completely natural, but this does not always happen in reality, ”says psychotherapist Benita Grischevica, adding that a woman who is a mistress has to consider what prevents the man from going away from his wife and when?
Maybe it’s the fear of hearing the truth and actually facing a sense of loss? Or perhaps it’s a fear of looking too demanding and apprehensive, and the danger of losing the relationship altogether if too much insistence is shown.
“It is often joked that trying to talk about a relationship is a sure way to damage it. In fact, it all depends on each partner’s self-confidence, willingness to improve relationships and communication skills. It is difficult not to talk about how you feel in your mistress role, so the tension breaks out in jealousy (maybe envy). That’s why the conversation goes no further than comforting you, but it is not the solution, and therefore there is no change,” says the psychotherapist.
Grischevica also mentions that in such a relationship, the two have different visions for the future: “You want to be his wife and the owner of a comfortable home, while it is probably best for him to keep the current situation. As the feeling of frustration becomes more real and it is clear that essential needs in this relationship remain unmet, the desire to gain new hope that dreams will come true is understandable. ”
Below we offer an action plan – tips for any woman who is engaged in a romantic relationship with a married man. The recommendations were compiled by allwomenstalk.com in consultation with relationship experts and psychologist Michel Weiner – Davis.
Respect yourself
Before choosing to enter into a relationship with a man who has already made a commitment, consider whether you will be willing to put up with his shared attention and care. If you realize that such a man’s actions will make you feel uncomfortable, respect yourself and find a suitable solution to the situation, even if it involves divorcing someone who has gained a place in your heart.
Is he ready for a new life?
Of course, there are many different stories of men who divorce their wives and mothers of their kids to create a new life, with a woman who has won their sympathy despite their marital obligations. However, such cases are much more often accompanied by situations where men try to live a double life. If you suspect that you have also met such a person, evaluate all the sacrifices you will have to make while maintaining the relationship that he forms in parallel with his family life.
Remember about his family
When connecting with an already married man, take into account that your partner is most likely not only the husband of a woman, but also the father of children. If you know you want to keep this relationship, take time and effort to get to know his offsprings and establish a relationship with them, if possible, rather than completely ignoring his past life.
Don’t be afraid to be sad
If you have decided to give up a relationship in which your partner was already taken, allow yourself to overcome this unhappy passion and not be ashamed of it. Love knows no boundaries, so you don’t have to feel guilty about your feelings!
Don’t let others influence your decision
In case you still want to continue this relationship, do not let others prevent you from living your life! The responsibility for deciding to divorce an existing marriage in order to form a new relationship lies with the man, and others have no say in your private life!
Stay alert
Note that you have developed a relationship with a man who has been able to cheat in his previous relationship. It may not have been the only time in his life, so consider whether your partner is really the person you think he is.
Jealousy
In a relationship with an already taken man, you will most likely feel jealous. Unfortunately, a commitment in which one already have two partners, such feelings are common, so evaluate whether you are ready to experience it!
Don’t lose control of your life
Remember that only you have the opportunity to influence your life. If you feel that a relationship with an already married man is without perspective and your future is likely to be the same as it is today – with hiding and with stolen moments of time spent together – consider whether you really want to live such a life!