Cunnilingus is undeservedly considered one of the most difficult sexual acts. Perhaps this stereotype comes from another stereotype – about the “complexity” and “mystery” of the female genitalia.
The well-known American sexologist, psychotherapist and book author Ian Kerner assures that it is really not difficult to bring a woman to orgasm. An expert dispels myths and shares practical advice for men.
1. Let your partner relax
Many women experience discomfort during cunnilingus. For some, it is related to complexes about the smell and taste of their body or the belief that the genitals are not beautiful. Others worry that their man does not like to do it. And then there are those who don’t like to be the center of attention and just cannot relax.
Usually, women are hypercritical of their bodies, so a man’s eyes, nose and mouth in her most sensitive and vulnerable area cause even a little resistance.
Of course, you won’t be able to instantly change how your partner feels. But you can help her relax. In many ways, success will depend on your approach to oral sex.
One of the main myths about cunnilingus is that it is not as pleasurable as penetrative intercourse. The fact is that many women have the exact opposite. Therefore, let her know that you take the process seriously, that for you it is not just foreplay before the “main part” and that you are really passionate about it.
In order to fully enjoy the process together with a partner, a man must learn three things:
- During cunnilingus, forget about yourself: now your main goal and source of pleasure is creating pleasure for her.
- Take your time: she is worth all your time.
- The smell of her is exciting, the taste is wonderful. And that is part of the beautiful nature. If you can show your partner that you really like it, you will be on her list of best lovers.
2. Prepare your partner and yourself for long-lasting pleasure
Foreplay before cunnilingus is another way to relax and arouse a woman. It should be like a rule: the clitoris is too sensitive – it should not be touched right away. Direct stimulation is not the best solution. Therefore, take time for kisses, hugs, touches, fantasies. And only when the woman is sufficiently aroused, you can move on to the genitals.
No need to rush: start with light movements with your tongue up and down.
Keep in mind: even after such preparation, your partner will reach orgasm after about 20 minutes. So take care of your comfort. Make yourself comfortable. Try to keep your lips and tongue at a 45 degree angle to her instead of a 90 degree angle, this will make it easier for you. Rest your head on your partner’s leg. If you don’t like cunnilingus lying down, you can kneel next to the bed. Regardless of the method you choose, make sure you’re comfortable and willing to put in the time.