Edging is the practice of refraining from reaching orgasm just when you’re “on the edge” – just before reaching sexual climax. This practice has only gained popularity in recent years, promising a “better orgasm”, but in reality it is more than half a century old method of treating premature ejaculation. In a 1956 article in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, James H. Semans introduced readers to a “stop-start method” to help people last longer before orgasm.
It basically means stopping sexual stimulation just before you reach orgasm, waiting for about 30 seconds and then stimulating yourself again, and repeating this until you are ready to orgasm.
While this sounds like a simple and quick goal, edging is more like a marathon. It should be understood that one or two such times will not be enough to get a better orgasm and last longer.
At a more holistic level, this process can make you more aware of your sexual reaction, both alone and with your partner.
What do you need to know before starting orgasm control?
First, it’s important to realize that experimentation is vital to any healthy sex life! Edging will help you better understand your body’s reactions and help you get rid of the anxiety that often occurs in people’s sex lives.
When it comes to orgasm control, you will also learn about the four stages of arousal. Knowing them will allow you to determine when to stop and start stimulation:
- Excitement. Human skin begins to blush, muscles become tense, heart rate becomes faster, blood begins to flow rapidly down to the penis or clitoris and vagina. The vagina gets wet and the scrotum bags constrict.
- Plateau. Everything that happened in Phase 1 is getting even more intense. You feel closer and closer to orgasm. This is the stage at which you should prepare to stop or slow down your stimulation.
- Orgasm. There are a number of nervous and muscular reactions that cause ecstasy, increased vaginal discharge and ejaculation of sperm from the penis. However, when training for orgasm control, it is a stage that should be avoided.
- Resolution. After an orgasm, the tissues return to their usual size and color, and all the senses return to normal. It is also when a short period of time begins in which a person cannot get aroused again. This can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few days or longer.
5 Ways to Try Edging at Home
If you are interested in controlling your orgasm, start by focusing on what you are feeling just before orgasm and stay at that stage. The key is to listen to your body and recognize the signs. It will definitely take several walks and mistakes are guaranteed, but that’s ok.
First, let’s start with the simplest – stop-start method:
Solo
- Prepare a comfortable environment. Lock the doors, turns off lights, turns on music, etc.
- Physical mood. Close your eyes and start touching yourself until your penis becomes hard or your vagina gets wet.
- Start masturbating. Caress your penis, stimulate your clit or anything that gets you going.
- When you feel that you will culminate, stop the stimulation. Stop or slow down. If necessary, inhale deeply or open eyes.
- Return to what aroused you. Consider how your body changes: do you feel tense? More excited? Maybe sweating?
- Start touching yourself again or masturbating faster. After the break, repeat steps 1-3 again. Do this until you feel ready to orgasm.
- This time allow yourself to reach orgasm. You may notice that your orgasm will be longer or more intense. Pay special attention to feelings and check if orgasm control has affected your sense of pleasure.
With partner
- Start with your favorite foreplay activities or positions with your partner. Try having oral sex by stimulating her G-spot, licking or sucking her nipples, or anything else that makes her feel good.
- Make sure your loved one is loud and gives some indication that he/she is feeling is good.
- Temporarily reduce or stop stimulation.
- Start the stimulation process again, then repeat step 3 until the partner is ready to climax.
The following method is for people with penises – the squeeze method:
- Get aroused.
- Stimulate yourself to orgasm.
- Just before orgasm, squeeze the head of your penis to stop orgasm.
- Wait 30 seconds, then start stimulating yourself again.
This next method has been shown to help people with premature ejaculation – ballooning:
- Find an area of your penis that is particularly sensitive.
- Do not touch any other part of your penis – just this place. Gently move your finger around this area in a circle.
- Continue to rub the area until your penis is completely hard, and continue until you feel you are ready to finish.
- Stop touching your penis just before orgasm. Allow it to become a little soft, then rub this area again until you are close to orgasm.
Repeat this as many times as you want, but don’t stop. This method is believed to help you last longer by training yourself to control it, so abstaining from orgasm is the key to making this exercise a success.
If you feel particularly adventurous, try a vibrator:
With the vibrator, you can explore different angles, penetration levels, vibration speeds and rhythms, and more. Use your imagination!
What are the benefits of the orgasm control?
Edging can provide various benefits:
1. Helps to reach orgasm more easily
In 2014, a study was conducted in which 96 women participated. It found that women who masturbate on a daily basis were more likely to reach orgasm.
If you haven’t taken the time to get to know your body, you may not even know what excites you – and it can turn into an unfulfilled sexual experience and contribute to anxiety during sex.
2. Reduce feelings of embarrassment by building body awareness and confidence
A 2006 study of nearly 2,000 women found that three-quarters of them reported various sexual dysfunctions, but they felt too uncomfortable to talk to their doctor.
By learning more about yourself through orgasm control, you can get more “data” and confidence to tell your doctor or even a partner about any issues or problems you may have in your sex life. This can lead to better health outcomes.
3. Removes the emphasis on sexual intercourse
Finally, a study conducted in 2018 involving more than 1,000 women found that many (approximately 36.6%) could reach orgasm with clitoral stimulation alone, while only 18% could achieve orgasm with sexual intercourse alone.
These results show the importance of experimenting with activities such as edging, which allow you to explore a myriad of ways to get excited.
How do you know when to stop the process and come?
It’s up to you! If you do it alone, feel free to have an orgasm whenever you feel ready for it. If you work with a partner, listen to him. Talk to each other or come up with a special sign or word so the other person knows when you’re ready to finish. Listening is the key here!
Also take into account that “edging” can cause what is called “half or disappearing orgasm“. When this happens, you may not feel the effects of an orgasm on your whole body, such as vaginal contractions, or you may feel as if you are approaching the “edge”, but you will not be able to reach orgasm, even if you are ready for it.
The same thing can happen to men – you may feel as if you are about to come, but the tension that usually leads to ejaculation disappears. It is also possible to experience a “dry orgasm” – there is a feeling of orgasm, but nothing comes out.
No need to worry about dry orgasms. It’s all natural and can happen from time to time. They are usually not related to your sexual potency and in many cases do not affect fertility. But if you are worried, visit a doctor or sexual health professional for a checkup.
Some health and safety considerations to keep in mind
You may be experiencing a condition called delayed ejaculation. However, the effects of this condition are typically psychological because of the stress and anxiety that not being able to ejaculate can cause if you aren’t choosing to do so.
Another common theme associated with edging is that it causes epididymal hypertension, better known as “blue balls.” There are false claims about the “harm” that can occur if a man is aroused but does not finish. But in reality, blue balls have no long-term effect on a person’s sexual health.
One major side effect to consider with edging is how you approach this practice. If this method becomes a priority in your sex life or relationship, it can lead to personal suffering, reduced sexual satisfaction and relationship conflicts.
Never delay someone’s pleasure without their consent! Orgasm is not the essence of sex! If you are worried that you may not ejaculate even when you want to, talk to your doctor or sexual health professional.