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Tag: mistress

  • Are All Women Destined to Be a Married Man’s Lover?

    Are All Women Destined to Be a Married Man’s Lover?

    Conversations about love triangles are a common topic in couples therapy offices. As for women who get stuck in the role of lover (even though they don’t really want to), there is a certain psychological mechanism that initiates such a relationship. In other words, the subconscious is playing with them.

    It is worth noting that I will not touch on any moral and ethical aspects of this phenomenon, I will not talk about women who are in relationships only for money and other adventurers. It’s about ordinary women who yearn for love, but for some reason choose to receive it in this way.

    Let’s look at the inner world of such women

    It is an immature woman who longs for eternal, endless celebrations and bright sensations. And she categorically does not want everyday life together, household, all kinds of difficulties and responsibilities. Such woman likes it when a man takes care of her – spends time, gives gifts. Although the dates are rare, they are full of passion and romance.

    People in such a relationship see each other from the best side, and everything else that would interfere in a normal relationship is left behind.

    Saviors. How can one not feel sorry for the poor man who is scolded by his angry wife every day? He is so white and fluffy and wonderful in every way. That witch does not appreciate this golden man, but he does not leave the family because of his cosmic courtesy. Instead, the savior will definitely appreciate him, give him the missing love and blow away all the dust. And with understanding and iron patience, he will wait for his children to grow up so that he can finally move in with his lover.

    Are all women destined to be a married man's lover? Sekss.lv

    Winners – those for whom it is important to win, to be superior to others. This pattern of behavior is formed in childhood, if something has gone wrong at the age of 3-5. At this age, a girl competes with her mother for her father’s love. You do remember: “Daddy is the best man in the world, I’m going to marry him when I grow up.”

    Ideally, the mother should recognize the girl’s age-appropriate behavior and feelings, but show a firm position that the place next to the father is occupied.

    Then the girl will have to take the daughter’s place and learn from her mother how to be a woman and build a relationship with a man. If something went wrong in this process, an adult girl may still have the need to prove to her mother that she is better and more worthy than her. Only the role of father is now taken by the married man, while the role of mother is taken by his beloved wife.

    Avoiding serious relationship. Being in a relationship with a man who is already taken is a great way to avoid a truly intimate relationship. When there is a need for a relationship, but at the same time there is a fear of being hurt, this form of communication seems safer and allows you to keep your distance.

    The reason for this may be a traumatic relationship experience in childhood or adulthood. This experience justifies the belief that relationships are a dangerous thing, they can hurt a lot.

    Building a “triangular relationship”. Such a model, in which there should also be a third party, is formed if the girl was constantly involved in such relationships during her childhood. For example, if the parents could not resolve the difficulties that arose between the two, and they often “called” the child to become a “fixer” of the relationship. A vivid example is when a mother says to her daughter: “I’m angry with your father and I don’t want to talk to him. Go tell him this and that.”

    Not chosen. There is one peculiarity in relations with a married man. On the one hand, a woman feels chosen, loved and wonderful. On the other hand, she is chosen as if not completely, because a man tends to live a double life, staying in the family. The lover feels it especially acutely on holidays and other times when there is no opportunity to be with the man or to visit public places, family and friendly events.

    Behind this phenomenon usually hides some personal traumatic story from childhood, which the woman plays out in the relationship with the married man.

    In each specific case, it is necessary to find out who was the person in the girl’s life who was very important to her, but did not choose her. As an option – the father who created another family. It seemed that he periodically intervened in the girl’s life, but he devoted most of his time, attention and care to the another family.

    How to fix this?

    While all these mechanisms work automatically, subconsciously, there is very little chance to change anything drastically. It seems as if a woman is destined to live the same relationship scenario over and over again with an already taken man. However, if you notice that the situations repeat themselves and you find it disturbing and unpleasant, make a decision to do something about it.

    What to choose instead?

    Explore how you get into this relationship, why do you find it attractive? If it is difficult to do it yourself, you can do it with the help of a psychologist.

    When you understand what mechanisms control this process, you will be able to choose a different relationship model. It is unlikely that the usual can be changed with a wave of a magic wand; in some cases it may require quite a long therapy. However, this inner work will allow for a really close and harmonious relationship.

  • Mistress Talks About Her Love Triangle: He Is Faithful to Me, Not to His Wife

    Mistress Talks About Her Love Triangle: He Is Faithful to Me, Not to His Wife

    “I want to share a story that I believe will be a lesson for both women and men. The situation seems very simple, so traditional. Love triangle. Unfortunately, I am the third side of this triangle. I am the mistress of a married man. Our relationship lasted more than half a year. The time spent with him was simply perfect. I was very happy: attention, gifts, sex. I was literally flying in the seventh heaven. I know he loves me. After all, you could tell by his behavior, his appearance, and the gifts he bought me. Well, that really can’t be played.

    Of course, it’s sad that he did not rush to divorce. As far as I understood, his wife is somewhat hysterical and domineering, because of which he is afraid of the consequences. But I am patient, I believe that everything will work out. Or rather, I believed until one day.

    A month ago, my lover announced that he can’t divorce his wife at this time because she is pregnant. I am one hundred percent sure that the child is not his. Although he hardly ever stays with me, I am sure that when we are not together, he is devoted only to me.

    I tried to convince him that it was just his wife’s manipulation. I am absolutely sure that he is faithful to me and does not sleep in the same bed with his wife, and if he does, then there is nothing between them. I think it’s just her game to keep her husband with her.

    When I told him, he just laughed. He told me to be patient and that was it. He has not picked up the phone for several days – he is probably trying to end the relationship with his wife.

    I still don’t understand how you can act like that and try to keep a man who doesn’t love you. I hope his eyes will open and he will leave his wife and stay with me. Because I love him very much and I would never lie to him.

    How I Found Out I Am an Anal Queen – Experience

    My best friend told me I was stupid and advised me to end the relationship because she thinks the child is really hers and he is just using me. Her only argument is that if he isn’t sleeping with his wife, how could she have gotten pregnant?

    Of course it worries me. I have doubts that he really will leave me. Well, but my friend doesn’t know him that well. I will wait as long as it takes and I will try in every way to open his eyes. Show him that he is being manipulated.

    I don’t expect advice, although there are often good insights in the comments. I’m confused and don’t know what to do. How can I convince him to leave his wife and be with me? To be in a relationship where true love reigns.”

  • Things You Should Now About Being The Mistress

    Things You Should Now About Being The Mistress

    Every woman wants to be loved and cherished by spending her life with a man who provides the necessary sense of security, shows care and, of course, expresses love and affection. But what you should do if this seemingly ideal man is already in a relationship with another woman? Experts provide useful tips – what to do if you’re the mistress in your relationship.

    “To find out if a man is planning to divorce his wife and build a relationship with his new crush, all you have to do is talk to the man himself. Be prepared that his answer will not always be true and realistic.

    Of course, in such situation, mature people want to plan their lives, set goals and understand what to count on and what not, which is completely natural, but this does not always happen in reality, ”says psychotherapist Benita Grischevica, adding that a woman who is a mistress has to consider what prevents the man from going away from his wife and when?

    Maybe it’s the fear of hearing the truth and actually facing a sense of loss? Or perhaps it’s a fear of looking too demanding and apprehensive, and the danger of losing the relationship altogether if too much insistence is shown.

    “It is often joked that trying to talk about a relationship is a sure way to damage it. In fact, it all depends on each partner’s self-confidence, willingness to improve relationships and communication skills. It is difficult not to talk about how you feel in your mistress role, so the tension breaks out in jealousy (maybe envy). That’s why the conversation goes no further than comforting you, but it is not the solution, and therefore there is no change,” says the psychotherapist.

    Grischevica also mentions that in such a relationship, the two have different visions for the future: “You want to be his wife and the owner of a comfortable home, while it is probably best for him to keep the current situation. As the feeling of frustration becomes more real and it is clear that essential needs in this relationship remain unmet, the desire to gain new hope that dreams will come true is understandable. ”

    Below we offer an action plan – tips for any woman who is engaged in a romantic relationship with a married man. The recommendations were compiled by allwomenstalk.com in consultation with relationship experts and psychologist Michel Weiner – Davis.

    Respect yourself

    Before choosing to enter into a relationship with a man who has already made a commitment, consider whether you will be willing to put up with his shared attention and care. If you realize that such a man’s actions will make you feel uncomfortable, respect yourself and find a suitable solution to the situation, even if it involves divorcing someone who has gained a place in your heart.

    Is he ready for a new life?

    Of course, there are many different stories of men who divorce their wives and mothers of their kids to create a new life, with a woman who has won their sympathy despite their marital obligations. However, such cases are much more often accompanied by situations where men try to live a double life. If you suspect that you have also met such a person, evaluate all the sacrifices you will have to make while maintaining the relationship that he forms in parallel with his family life.

    Remember about his family

    When connecting with an already married man, take into account that your partner is most likely not only the husband of a woman, but also the father of children. If you know you want to keep this relationship, take time and effort to get to know his offsprings and establish a relationship with them, if possible, rather than completely ignoring his past life.

    Don’t be afraid to be sad

    If you have decided to give up a relationship in which your partner was already taken, allow yourself to overcome this unhappy passion and not be ashamed of it. Love knows no boundaries, so you don’t have to feel guilty about your feelings!

    Don’t let others influence your decision

    In case you still want to continue this relationship, do not let others prevent you from living your life! The responsibility for deciding to divorce an existing marriage in order to form a new relationship lies with the man, and others have no say in your private life!

    Stay alert

    Note that you have developed a relationship with a man who has been able to cheat in his previous relationship. It may not have been the only time in his life, so consider whether your partner is really the person you think he is.

    Jealousy

    In a relationship with an already taken man, you will most likely feel jealous. Unfortunately, a commitment in which one already have two partners, such feelings are common, so evaluate whether you are ready to experience it!

    Don’t lose control of your life

    Remember that only you have the opportunity to influence your life. If you feel that a relationship with an already married man is without perspective and your future is likely to be the same as it is today – with hiding and with stolen moments of time spent together – consider whether you really want to live such a life!