Jokes

There are two prostitutes standing on the street. Pass the aunt and ask, “What are you waiting for, girls?” The prostitutes says, “Waiting for candy!” All three … two prostitutes and an Aunty standing. Suddenly a police car approaches here, the prostitutes runs away, but the Aunty stands as if standing. The policemen come’s in and asks, “Aunt, what are you waiting for here?”
Aunty proudly replies, “Oh, son, there are no more teeth… I can still suck!”

Sex Rodeo – a man stepped on a woman from behind and during sex asks: “Do you like it?”. She said, “Yes.” – “Your friend liked it too” Then try to hold on to the woman’s back.

Norway. The train has just left a few kilometers long tunnel. A young couple and a few other people are sitting in the coupe. The young man whispers in his wife’s ear:
– If I had known that the tunnel is so long, I would have fucked you. The wife answers aloud:
– WHAT, it wasn’t you !?

The guy says: “Well, at the wedding I invite the bride to the first dance. We dance the first, the second, the third …
This psychopath, the young man, suddenly runs here and kicks her in the crotch with all his might. ”
Listeners: “Poor thing, she must be in great pain.”
Guy: “What about her, but I broke three fingers..”

2 girls talking:
– Are you innocent?
– What?
– Well, are you a virgin?
– No, I am a lion.

– You have been married for 10 years and you have never cheated Why?
– Now there are two reasons.
– Probably love and trust…
– No… laziness and porno…

The boy tells his friend: – My mother is so scared lately. While I watch the cartoons, she locks into her room, puts on her dad, a blanket, and then yells, “just don’t let it in, just don’t let it in.”

Two men solve a crossword puzzle.
– Female genitals.
– How many letters?
– Five.
– Horizontally or vertically?
– Horizontally.
– Then mouth…

The boy marries a beautiful lady.
Lovely. After a while, the guy writes to mom.
– Mom, my wife gave birth to a nice boy.
Parents, of course, very happy. The son writes again after a while.
– Mom, my son is getting darker and darker.
My wife hasn’t got any milk, and our baby is being milked by a silk black woman living in the neighborhood.
Could it be out of it?
– Oh son when you were born, I also definitely didn’t have milk, I feed you cow’s milk but horns, as I understand it, just grew now.

We only are dating for the third month, and he already wants to meet my family!
I don’t even know what to do!
The children are with their grandmother, but the husband is on a business trip!

After a passionate night, the girl and the guy sleep in the bed.
The girl looks at the ceiling and thinks: Loves me or not?
After a passionate night in bed, the engagement sleeps.
The bride looks at the ceiling and thinks: Will you marry me or not?
After spending the night in bed, the wife and husband sleep in the bed.
The wife looks at the ceiling and thinks: Whitewash or not to whitewash?

– Honey, why do you have such long lashes?
– I cried a lot as a child.
– You should have peed more…

– Why is the bride at the wedding so white?
– Why, why. Standard home appliance color!

The boy asks his dad:
– Does the sun have legs?
– No, son!
– So why did you say at night, ” Oh Sun, spread your legs”?

Sex in the French style: a Frenchman fucks his lover;
Sex in the English style: an Englishman watches as a Frenchman fucks a lover through a keyhole;
Sex in Georgian style: Georgian fucks an Englishman who watches through the keyhole as …;
Sex in the Italian style: an Italian filmed as a Georgian fucks an Englishman who …;
Russian-style sex: Russian fucks at a party meeting about watching Italian porn movies.

To meet a man, Dacīte does not go to clubs, theaters, or museums. She just comes to the supermarket and watches one of those who chooses dumplings for a long time.

Jew in a sex shop:
– Hello, tell me, do you have circumcised vibrators?
– No we have not. Why do you need something like that ?!
– Nevermind, I am returning to Israel.

Calling a doctor:
– Doctor, come please, I think my wife is dead.
– What happened?
– As if nothing has changed in the bed, but the dirty dishes in the kitchen have become much more.