Jokes
– Doctor, the leg is badly healed after a fracture. You have to walk on crutches.
– Sister, purgenu! You will immediately throw the crutches to the side. And run!
Next one!
– Doctor, I find a little postage stamp there every morning! Look, already
I’ve put together an entire album.
– These are not brands, but stickers made of bananas. There will be a referral to the ophthalmologist.
Next one!
– Doctor, I don’t know why no one is seeing me.
– Next one!
– I work like a horse, eat like a pig, sniff like a dog – what can I do?
– I don’t know, I’m not a veterinarian. Next one!
– Doctor, help, I’m peeing hot!
– Take your fingers out of the socket! Next one!
– Doctor, my teeth are yellow!
– In that case, a brown tie will suit you. Next one!
– Doctor, I’m sick with legs!
– Walking is good, without legs is bad. Next one!
– Doctor, every time I sneeze, I feel an orgasm! What shall I do?
– Hm. Sniff the tobacco! Next one!
– Doctor, help, I’m 28 years old, but hair doesn’t grow in intimate places!
– How many times a week do you have sex?
– Well, 30 – 40 times.
– The grass does not grow on the highways either! next one
A lady to a doctor: “Doctor, when I smoke a cigarette, I immediately want sex.” Doctor: “Hmm…, let’s sit down first and smoke!”
A young couple visits a marriage psychologist. The psychologist asks the wife what the problem is. “My husband suffers from premature ejaculation,” she replies. “Is it true?” the psychologist asks the husband. “Not quite,” the man replies. “It’s her who’s suffering, not me.”
A woman walks in the park. Seeing the bench, she sits down, but there is a homeless person present. He starts harassing the woman, and she says angrily, “What are you allowing?” What are you holding me for? – But what are you looking for in my bed?
– Dear, where are we going to rest?
– Assessing our budget, it seems to me that we are not so tired yet …
Two girls shout at the guy:
– I’ll show you!
– You’ll get me!
The boy:
– I don’t know at all which of these offers to choose …
– Mom, I think I’m pregnant.
– Mercy, where was your head?
– I don’t remember, it seems … under the wheel
The next morning after the family dispute, the wife hands her husband a six-digit slip. The man puzzled, “What is this?”
Wife: “You call me a prostitute. Then pay for all these years!”
An elderly banker asks for a new photo model. It is responsible for:
– Okay, but I have some rules.
– I’m ready for anything because of you!
– You bankers tend to shoot. I wouldn’t want to be just a young widow …
– Okay, you will have insurance for 50 million.
– But where will we live?
– Wherever you want!
– And most importantly: I want to have sex every day.
– It’s not a problem at all – I apply for Thursdays