“Our married life is pretty good, we love each other, but I have long wanted more variety in the intimate area. I have told my wife about it several times – she either gently refuses or gets angry as if I were some kind of maniac.
But is it bad if I want to experiment? After all, I want to do it with her, not some other woman. The last topic we talked about was anal sex for me. As a result, my wife drove me into new complexes. Please advise – should I break up and look for someone else, or is there any way I can talk to him about this?” – Bill, 38
Psychologist Sandra Brown answers on Psychologies:
“Bil, for some reason your wife doesn’t want to experiment in the bedroom. Generally, people don’t want something that they don’t think is worth their attention, time, or something that they don’t find interesting or acceptable.
I recommend that you think about it – are the experiments that you want so much enjoyable for your wife as well, or do they seem interesting to her? If not, what have you done about it and have you done enough to make them attractive to her? Have your suggestions turned into pressure?
Have you ever thought about the anal sex and preparation for it, without which it can be painful and unpleasant? Maybe she is afraid of it. You wrote “anal sex for me”. And what does that mean for her? Have you discussed security measures?
My point is that you don’t seem to be hearing her say “no”, maybe she doesn’t want to experiment because she doesn’t believe she could stop you if she had to. Then it’s better not to risk it.
Divorce or not is up to you, so I would start by asking if you listen to your wife and hear why she doesn’t want. And do you know what role she has in your sex life? Maybe these questions are the ones to start with.”
Do you feel that your partner has been responding rather slowly to your sexual intentions lately? Sexologists explain that communication is the foundation of a great intimate life. However, if you start talking about this topic right after sex, she may feel compelled to protect your feelings, claiming that everything is fine, when in fact your sexual routine as a couple has become boring and frustrating for her. There are several signs that your loved one is not happy with your sex life. What are they and what can be done about it?
Excuses, excuses
Everyone experiences periods when they do not feel particularly in mood. This can be due to many factors: stress at work, loss of confidence, hormonal changes, depressed mood or simply exhaustion. However, it may be that she just finds sex life boring, so she has found other priorities.
It doesn’t matter to her if she has an orgasm
Statistics show that women take an average of about 20 minutes to reach a climax. If she thinks that an orgasm is not worth 20 minutes of sex because the sex itself has become boring, there is a reason to worry. If you feel like she’s completely ignoring the fact that she didn’t had an orgasm during your last intimate session, and this happens more than once, it can give your lady apathy about sex, and it’s definitely time for both of you to make some changes in bed.
She prefers to masturbate rather than make love to you
Clearly, masturbation is not a negative phenomenon. But if masturbating becomes a higher priority than having sex with you, you will have problems in the long run. How to change it? A woman who knows how to do it without you will have a lot of information to share about how you can make her happy. Use it! One way is to ask her to show you how she does it. If she starts masturbating and watching porn, ask her to show you some clips and tell her exactly what she likes in them. And all you have to do is put theory into practice.
She criticizes you daily
While she may not want to discuss your performance in bed, she may be criticizing other aspects of your life. Maybe she criticizes your appearance, the way you do your work, or the way you do things at home. Increased nervousness and criticism can be directly related to sex life. Pay special attention if your lady starts comparing you to her ex-partners. Don’t be offended, talk to her and act to improve the situation!
She teaches you how to move during sex
When a woman knows what she wants and what she likes in the bedroom, it is only but great. However, if she often begins to control your moves and what you are doing, it may indicate that you are not listening to her wishes. If it seems that she is teaching you from the very first movement, you may not be aware of what is happening. Learn how to turn your wife into a sex goddess and try to really listen to what she says.
She thinks about other stuff during sex
At best, sex is an activity that has no past or no future – it’s just thoughts, emotions and feelings that travel through your nervous system at that moment. It will never happen like that if you will think about the list of things to do during the day. If you sometimes feel like she’s out of time during sex, it’s possible that your sex life will need a new spark.
She avoids physical contact
If you make a woman feel satisfied, she will want to be near you and will want to touch you. However, if you focus solely on getting your pleasure or your performance is dim, she will rather turn to the other side and fall asleep after sex than hug you.
She is really unhappy
A woman is sexually dissatisfied if she does not find sex pleasurable, engaging or inspiring. Over time, she will want less and less sex. Dissatisfaction arises when she wants sex to be different, but it doesn’t. Sometimes a sexually dissatisfied woman thinks it’s because her partner is doing something or not doing something in the bedroom. And so it can be. Sometimes she thinks it’s because she’s not sexy enough. And it is definitely not so! Sometimes she thinks it’s because you’re not doing well as a couple. It can also be part of the truth.
What to do about it?
It is important for men to keep in mind that sex and intimacy can be two different things. It has been scientifically proven that intimacy is much more necessary for women than for men. The woman herself should not pretend not to care about sex. Women care about sex. As much as men.
Talk to your partner and let her know that it is up to you both to develop her sexual satisfaction.
How can you know what she likes?
Think about what happens during sex that helps her achieve pleasure? It can be oral sex, a body massage or maybe it’s time for conversation, dancing or dinner together. Sex is, in a way, a game for which both partners are responsible. Do you want your lady to be happy? Then talk to her and act!
How do you know if you are with your real and only one? And is there really the real and only one? These are the eternal questions that dating experts have been discussing for years, and some people believe in the idea of relatives of the soul, while others oppose monogamy and do not think that we should be tied to just one person all our lives.
But if you’re looking for someone to love with all your heart and want to get married, dating podcast host Jane Hawking offers tips on how to determine in two seconds whether the person you‘ve met is marriage material or someone you’re better off. .
Jane calls it her “marriage test,” and it helps her decide whether or not to say yes to the current relationship. She explains how the test works: “I usually do this after quite a few dates, say after three months in a relationship. I just imagined myself at the wedding altar. ”
“I think to myself – if I went to the altar and saw this person waiting for me, would I be happy and really excited to see him? Would I think to myself that I was really lucky to marry her? Or I would just think he seems like a good person, and I think we could have a decent life together, so let’s do it. ”
Jane continues: “If this is the first option, I will continue to meet him. If the second option, which just seems like a good solution, I will not stay with him.
“The second option does not offer truly special and unique love, it offers secure love.”
Seeing countless sex scenes in Hollywood movies and listening to sexy lyrics in popular music, you might think that celebrities have a lot of sex , but that’s not always true. Sex is a very intimate moment between two people, and whether or not the couple abstains is deeply personal. Some celebrities have openly shared their reasons for choosing to wait for marriage – some made faith-based decisions, while others simply waited for the right person. Find out which of your favorite stars remained celibate until you said yes
Adriana Lima’s
“Victoria’s Secret” Angel in 2006 revealed why she decided to wait: “Sex is for life after marriage,” adding that her friends must respect her choice. Adriana’s wise words read, “If there is no respect, it means they don’t want me.”
Miranda Kerra and Evans Spiegel
Supermodel Miranda Kerra discovered in 2017 that she and Evans Spiegel chose to abstain from sex before marriage.
They married in May 2017 and now have a son together, Hart.
Ciara and Russell Wilson
NFL star and singer Ciara took the oath of celibacy to build a closer relationship.
“I really believe that focusing on friendship can build a strong foundation for a relationship – and once you know you’re really great friends and have the same values or the same outlook on life, it somehow sets the tone.” she told People .
Mary Carrey and Nick Canon
Both Mary Carrie and Nick Canon had already lost their virginity, but after meeting they agreed to wait until they were married to have sex.
“We both have similar beliefs, and I just think it would be much more special if we waited until we were married,” Kerry told the Daily Mirror .
Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson’s innocence was an important story during her reality show ” Nick and Jessica: Newlyweds “. “My innocence is something I am adamant about,” she revealed 20 years ago.
Kevin Jonas
The eldest of the John brothers, Kevin, a member of the Jonas Brothers, waited until he was married to his girlfriend, who he had been with for two years
Hillary Dafa
Before marrying her first husband, Mike Comry, in 2010, actress Hillary Dafa also chose to practice abstinence from sex.
Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher
Country music singer Carrie Underwood (Carrie Underwood) In 2007, the magazine “Slate” said that it intends to remain a virgin until marriage. She married Mike Fisher in 2010.
atomy of Gray” actress Sarah Dru abstained from sex before marrying her current husband Peter Lanfer.
“The first thing that was revealed about April in the series was that she was a virgin,” Dude told Fox News , “I waited until I got married to have sex, so I understood Motile’s motivation.” The authors of the series thought it would be a really cool and interesting story – to tell what is not seen too often. ”
Liza Kudrova The star of the
cult series “Friends” Liza Kudrova kept her virginity until she married Michael Stern in 1995.
“I saved myself to be worthy of my real husband,” she said in an interview
Tina Feija
Comedian and actress Tina Feija waited until marriage to have sex with her husband Jeff Richmond, who she married at the age of 24.
“It simply came to our notice then. These are just good, Christian values. ”
Gordina Sparks
Singer and actress Gordina Sparks chose to remain a virgin until marriage. She married in 2017 and now has a son.
“I don’t want to give my soul pieces to many different guys – I want to give myself all to the right man the right night,” she told Celebs Now . “And the real night is my wedding.”
Selena Gomez
At the age of 13, Selena Gomeza promised to take care of herself until marriage. However, when the singer started meeting Justin Bieber, the promise was broken, which was very much criticized by fans.
In response, she said , “I am not embarrassed to say that I have made such a promise.” I am also not embarrassed to say that I have broken it. I understand that I was only 13 years old, and I respect him so much that I supported it, but this promise is not for everyone. ”
Justin and Hailey Bieber
The couple discovered that after re-entering the relationship in 2018, they decided to abstain from sex. “That’s how I wanted to dedicate myself to God, because I really felt it was best for my soul,” Justin said. “And I believe that God blessed me with Hail.”
