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  • What Does It Mean If Your Wife Watches Porn? Is She Cheating On You?

    What Does It Mean If Your Wife Watches Porn? Is She Cheating On You?

    Question. “I have been with my wife for 5 years, we have a child. The sex when it’s there is fine, but I wouldn’t mind to have it more often. I will outline the situation to make things as clear as possible. A year ago, I found out that my wife regularly watches porn – I found a link to a pornographic site in my wife’s internet history.

    Everything would still be tolerable, but she was watching a video called “fucking while husband away”. That would be half the problem, but I found it in the search list. The thing is that such text can only be entered in the search by hand, it does not appear there. She herself wrote such a search and, as the history of the Internet shows, she watched that more than one. Then we had a big fight, she apologized and said it won’t happen again. She used to work in an all-female team, but recently switched to a mixed team. I recently found pornographic pages in her history of the Internet, again the same situation but she typed “fucking while working”… I made a scandal again.

    1. What is the probability that she is actually unfaithful to me and is it worth worrying about?
    2. What does it mean that she watches porn? Does she lack sex? I don’t know if she masturbates while watching or not.
    3. Why is this happening and is she psychologically cheating on me by doing this or not?
    4. Any suggestions on how to act in this situation? Maybe this is completely normal? Although it doesn’t seem normal to me… Maybe I’m the problem, what should I do? What is your opinion on this situation?”

    Psychologist Evelina Vasilieva comments:

    I understood from your letter that you are concerned about your wife’s need to watch pornographic films, and you are particularly concerned about the topics she chooses, as well as the frequency of intercourse. Your relationship has been going on for 5 years, so it’s completely normal that you may experience difficulties in your sex life, you may get tired of the usual things, you may need variety, it may be a great time to introduce something new in your sex life. You are asking for your opinion on this situation.

    You may be surprised, but the fact that your wife watches porn and chooses such topics seems completely normal to me.

    Pornographic films are watched by a significant number of men and women, and the diversity of their offer shows that people’s sexual fantasies are very diverse.

    After reading the letter, the thing that sticks in my mind the most is that you check your wife’s Internet search history. I was wondering what is the reason for doing this? What is going on in your relationship, why is it necessary to spy? Do you find it difficult to directly ask your wife about the things that worry you? It is also interesting that the search history can be easily deleted, it seems that your wife was not trying to hide it from you, and maybe on the contrary – she wanted you to see…

    Psychologist Dr. David Schnarch claims in his book “Resurrecting Sex” that through erotica he helps couples create a deeper sexual connection. The psychologist writes that erotic films and fantasies can be a useful tool that helps even people’s inner growth. Sexual fantasies are definitely part of a healthy sex life and can help couples experiment more.

    Some people think that fantasizing or watching porn is equal to cheating, but this belief belies a basic fact of human sexuality—most of us crave variety. Allowing your partner to watch pornography won’t ruin your relationship, but banning it can put additional strain on the relationship.

    So knowing that she’s likely going to watch porn anyway, giving her permission creates a space for openness and honesty about her habits, rather than feeling like they’re shameful secrets to hide.

    Below I will try to answer your questions as best I can:

    1. You seem to be concerned about your wife’s choice of pornography: “fucking while husband away”, “sex while working”. The fact that she watches porn about such a topic does not mean that she is unfaithful. However, if something seems suspicious to you, the easiest way to find out is to simply ask. In this case, you seem to be overreacting.

    If we were in therapy, I would ask you, have you experienced betrayal in the past? With your wife or other women? Perhaps your father or mother was unfaithful in your family?

    It seems that you feel insecure in this situation, you suspect your wife of infidelity, so I wonder if there is a basis for this or if this is where your old experiences “come back”.

    2. The topics chosen by your wife may be her sexual fantasy ie. that’s what excites her right now. Maybe she wants you to play the role of a stranger in the bedroom who comes when your husband isn’t home. Maybe she’d like to have sex at work or in another public place where you might be caught. Or maybe she just likes to fantasize about it. However, these are just my guesses, she herself would answer best.

    3. It sounds like you’ve been judging your wife for wanting to watch porn, and some of her needs have gone unfulfilled. Healthy people can distinguish reality from fantasy, so you should not worry about betrayal at the level of fantasy.

    It is important to accept the fact that you and your wife may find other people sexually attractive, and that there will be other people or pornographic characters in your life that you may find sexy, but this is more of a natural biological response.

    4. In this situation, it is important to talk to your wife. Talk about your sexual fantasies, what turns her on, what she would like during sex. In my opinion, it is worth telling her that you would like to make love with her more often and find out why your wife does not want it, maybe she is not completely satisfied with sexual relations, or maybe her sex drive is simply lower than yours.

    Sometimes sex is just the tip of the iceberg and can be a sign of other difficulties in the relationship that you can’t see.

    In any case, if you can’t work it out on your own, it’s always worth seeing a couples therapist to help you hear and understand each other. For many people, sex is the glue that holds a relationship together, and sexual needs and fantasies can change over time, so it’s important to revisit and talk about them.

  • My wife doesn’t want to experiment in the bedroom. How to change her mind?

    My wife doesn’t want to experiment in the bedroom. How to change her mind?

    “Our married life is pretty good, we love each other, but I have long wanted more variety in the intimate area. I have told my wife about it several times – she either gently refuses or gets angry as if I were some kind of maniac.

    But is it bad if I want to experiment? After all, I want to do it with her, not some other woman. The last topic we talked about was anal sex for me. As a result, my wife drove me into new complexes. Please advise – should I break up and look for someone else, or is there any way I can talk to him about this?” – Bill, 38

    Psychologist Sandra Brown answers on Psychologies:

    “Bil, for some reason your wife doesn’t want to experiment in the bedroom. Generally, people don’t want something that they don’t think is worth their attention, time, or something that they don’t find interesting or acceptable.

    I recommend that you think about it – are the experiments that you want so much enjoyable for your wife as well, or do they seem interesting to her? If not, what have you done about it and have you done enough to make them attractive to her? Have your suggestions turned into pressure?

    Have you ever thought about the anal sex and preparation for it, without which it can be painful and unpleasant? Maybe she is afraid of it. You wrote “anal sex for me”. And what does that mean for her? Have you discussed security measures?

    My point is that you don’t seem to be hearing her say “no”, maybe she doesn’t want to experiment because she doesn’t believe she could stop you if she had to. Then it’s better not to risk it.

    Divorce or not is up to you, so I would start by asking if you listen to your wife and hear why she doesn’t want. And do you know what role she has in your sex life? Maybe these questions are the ones to start with.”

  • Erotic Story: My Wife And Her Lover

    Erotic Story: My Wife And Her Lover

    It was a very unpleasant day at work. Not only were the orders late, but it turned out that one of the warehouses had been robed, foreign suppliers had changed the contract, a security guard had quit, and someone had damaged the staff microwave.

    The boss flew around on a broom and blamed everyone he met. Unfortunately, when it was my turn, I was making tea and accidentally spilled it. I listened for half an hour as I was about to be fired, went home at 5 pm and ended up in an hour and a half long traffic jam caused by the marathon that day. When I finally got to my apartment, I almost forgot that this time I had to ring the doorbell instead of unlocking them myself. With a deep sigh, I pressed the bell. For a minute no one paid attention until finally I heard footsteps.

    – You’re late, – muttered a disheveled, unshaven guy with a cigarette in his teeth and a ragged robe on his naked body.

    I shrugged apologetically. The young man turned towards the room, shaking cigarette ashes on the carpet. Sighing again, I wiped my feet and, closing the door behind me, went inside. The apartment reeked of cigarette smoke, delicious aroma from the kitchen couldn’t even overshadowe it. The boy, whom I called that because of his youth, and not because of his appearance, which was already quite battered by alcohol, tobacco and sleepless nights, was already sitting in the kitchen.

    – I earned quite a money today, – he braged. – The publishing house sold out the second edition of my book.

    – Congratulations, – I said distractedly, lifting the lid of the pot. – Pasta! Mmm. Today I…

    – I don’t care how you did at work. Just because I’m fucking your wife doesn’t mean I want to listen to your problems.

    For the first time all day, I felt a nice tingling sensation in my stomach. Silenced, I waved my hand towards the stove.

    – I would like to eat.

    – No, – he almost shouted. – The pasta is mine. Just like your wife’s pussy.

    I swallowed my saliva. Clouds of excitement gathered under my chest.

    – Mark? Honey, is the food ready? – My wife’s voice came from the room, and she appeared at the door – in a beautiful pink robe, with make-up and a hairstyle.

    – Yes, – the guy pushed the plate towards her.

    I watched how deftly my wife served him. As agile as ever in these 20 years.

    – More sauce? A fork? Will you eat with a spoon? Maybe I should cut the vegetables so they aren’t so dry?

    I stood there without even taking off my shoes, still stupidly holding the pot lid in my hand, while my beloved wife nursed this 25-year-old boy as if he was the meaning of her life. I felt an erection hit my pants.

    – Enough, enough, sit down and eat with me.

    – I can’t. I’m trying to lose weight.

    – Honey, in the next hour you will lose as many calories as you will eat in this dinner.

    My wonderful, beautiful, sweet wife was giggling like a fourteen-year-old girl. They both ate in silence for a while. I was still standing where I was. Finally, they put down their plates.

    – Well, let’s go! – laughed Mark in a boyish voice.

    – After you, dear, – she answered in the same playful way.

    I followed them into the bedroom, kicking off my shoes and dropping my jacket on the floor. Untying my tie, I closed the door to the room. Love doves devoured each other’s naked bodies with their eyes. The robes laid on the floor. Not wanting to disrupt the intimacy that had begun, I moved quietly towards the armchair.

    – Let me help you, – Mark said. I turned to see him pull the nightstand to the side. Now nothing blocked the view from the armchair to the bed. – So that you can see better, – he smiled.

    I looked at him wondering who had the bigger cock. Mark returned to my wife and began to suck her lips. I loudly swallowed my saliva and struggled to sit down. One kiss was not enough for that big mouth – after grabbing my wife by her hair, he licked her open lips eagerly, as if marking his territory with his tongue. Letting go of my wife’s hair, Mark sat her on the bed and spread her legs.

    – I want you to touch yourself.

    It was so intimate! She never showed it to me, explaining that it was every woman’s little secret.

    She licked two of her fingers and began rubbing her clit with a soft moan.

    – Your pussy look delicious, honey, – remarked Mark.

    So vulgar about my wife’s greatest treasure! I loved giving her oral and feeling her warm, wet curls touch my nose…

    – I want you to fuck me, Mark, – my wife moaned, and two of her fingers dipped between the folds of her vagina.

    – Like a slut? – suggested Mark, lazily running his hand over his dick.

    – Like a slut, – she obediently repeated, panting heavily.

    I felt like I could unbutton my pants, but Mark started masturbating.

    – Tell me what you want me to do for you.

    – I want your thing inside me, – she said. Her hair was tied in a neat ponytail, her cheeks were flushed, her breasts were heaving heavily.

    Mark growled. The head of his cock appeared and disappeared in his palm.

    Finally she couldn’t take it anymore and pushed Mark backwards onto the bed, grabbed his cock herself and sat on it, starting her wild ride. My pants were on fire so I just unbuttoned them and pulled out my thing. I grabbed the lubricant with shaking hands. My wife, riding on what was almost twice my size, screamed uncontrollably. Her buttocks rose and fell against Mark’s thighs. I would have given anything for a front view, but she had turned her back on me because, apparently, I deserved it. The thought turned me on so much that I felt like I was going to cum. But I couldn’t… Not yet.

    Mark gave my wife a possessive slap on the ass and lifted her off. Pushing her onto the bed, he got on his knees and placed his penis between her breasts. Skillfully grabbing them, she massaged Mark’s thing. I watched their bodies move. It was something I will never have – something only her loved ones would have… Seconds before his seed erupted, Mark entered her sweet crotch again and cummed triumphantly. The wife immediately moved to the edge of the bed and crossed her legs. Now it was my turn to act. Barely restraining myself, I rushed to her and began to lustily lick the stranger’s cum from her pussy. That day, probably due to the stress experienced at work, I ejaculated like never before – it seemed that the gates of heaven had opened. I curled up on the edge of the bed. I felt a tonal burden fall from my shoulders. When I opened my eyes, Mark was gone, but she was looking at me as sweetly as ever.

    – I love you, my bear.

    – I love you more, sunshine, – I whispered and hugged her.

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