Jokes
Seeing the woman change the punctured wheel of her car within minutes, the man decided to meet the woman and drove behind her. So they went to a trans club.
Son, you’re big boy now. You are taking girls home, having sex with them.
That’s why my father and I decided that it was time for you to finally buy your own separate bed…
Tonight, the wife and children are driving away to the summer house.
So a happy but very hungry summer begins.
One day a week – just be yourself. The other six days – restore your reputation.
Signs that the date is not going great:
– She brought some other guy with her.
– She started crying when she found out you were Gemini according to the horoscope.
– She plays with her hair, removing the wig from her bold head.
– She periodically reminds you to hurry, because she still has hourly pay.
– It’s been three hours since she went to the bathroom.
– At five in the morning it turned out that “she is not like that”.
– While you were not in the basement, she managed to untie herself from the chair and is now hiding somewhere with a knife in her hand.
– Honey, what are you wearing right now?
– Pink panties …
– Oh … tell me more!
– 90% cotton and 10% synthetics!
Note in the stairwell: “Dear Ladies! Please choose your lovers from our neighborhood. Neighbors have nowhere to park their cars!”
How can I explain to my body that hair on my head is more important to me than hair on my chest?
Mother and son driving on the highway. Suddenly a dildo flies out of the car in front of them and hits their window.
– Mom, what was that?
– Oh, that? An insect!
– Oh, my! And why was it flying on such a big dick?
– Hello, taxi park. Dispatcher listening!
– Could I order 20 taxis at the sewing factory dormitories?
– 20? !! Where will you go?
– Where? Back to the barracks of course!
Man watches a video and speaks out loud:
– Don’t go there! Please, don’t go there, you idiot…
Wife asks:
– What are you watching?
Man:
– Our wedding …
Woman, please, stop losing weight! We will still manage to sleep on the boards… in our coffins!
Men are not saying anything because they are guided by two principles:
1. Everything is clear! There is nothing to talk about.
2. There is nothing to talk about. Nothing is clear here.
Julia really liked the sharp stubble, the aroma of the fish and the rough hands, but her husband insisted that she take care of herself.
If you think that you are madly in love, sit down, take a deep breath and think. Maybe you just want sex!