Jokes
At first you think that making friends with a gay is stylish and fun, but then he takes away all your boyfriends…
At night my neighbor’s bed squeaked.
Exactly 1 minute.
She deserves it!
Remember the golden rule! During sex, the one who has a runny nose must be at the bottom!
It no longer matters to me which of us is to blame – you or me. I will not yell anymore. Just say you’re a piece of shit and we’ll forget everything.
Grooms friend:
– Such a grand wedding! Where did you take so much money?
Groom:
– I was saving for a doomsday for a while now. And here we are…
I forgot my Facebook password. Now I don’t know when my wife’s birthday is.
Girls, if you dream of being carried on man’s hands, try not to miss toast and not to eat.
Every woman has a bitch, a fool, a witch, an angel and a beautiful princess inside them. Whoever you wake up, you will get …
Men often say they want their woman to be a tiger in bed, but then they say that they don’t like to be scrached …
They are so naive.
And then there is no other option than a gray mouse with muzzle and mittens …
Girls, if you dream of being carried on men’s hands, try not to miss toast and not to eat.
Husband comes gome from work:
– Dear, what do we have for dinner?
– Me!
– But, honey, I can’t eat anything fat!
Women’s logic will kill me. My wife left a note on the fridge: “I’m gone. I’ll be home when I’ll be back!”
Dialogue in the dry cleaner:
– Can you get greasy stains out of the couch?
– Yes!
– Here’s the money! Here’s the address! And the greasy stain is called Eric…
– Why are you so sad?
– You know, when I go fishing, a neighbor goes to my wife.
– You tried not to go fishing?
– I tried, but then he catches all my fish…
I recently dreamed I was driving a Ferrari. According to my wife, I made gasses all night.
I don’t understand the women – she happily said that she bought these panties especially for me, but then her mood changed when I put them on.
The mother-in-law comes to visit her daughter-in-law, looks at the apartment, draws her finger over the closet and asks: ‘Do you know what they say about dirt?
Daughter-in-law replies: ‘A pig will always find mud.’
Once a man said to the God, “Why are all the girls so lovely, but all the women such bitches?” God replied, ‘I create girls, but you make them women…’