Jokes

2 friends:
– I decided to go back to my husband.
– Why?
“I can’t calmly watch this villain enjoy life.”

Once upon a time, a boy asked a girl, “Will you marry me?”
She replied, “No!”
And the guy lived long and happy.

– Hello Darling! I’m in the sauna. Everything here is exactly as you always say: no women, just old men.

Father to daughter:
– Why did you tell my mother when I was home yesterday?
– I didn’t say what time! I said I didn’t look at the clock because I was preparing breakfast.

– Honey, is it true that bunnies are the stupidest animals?
– Yes, my bunny.

Father of a small son:
– The stork will bring you a little brother!
“I don’t understand you, Dad, so many women, but you’re going to fuck those storks.”

After learning about her husband’s distrust, women usually pile up suitcases and move in with a lover.

My wife and I had complete sexual harmony yesterday – they both had a headache.

A man comes home from work and sees his wife with another man:
-Dear, what is he doing to you ?!
-Wonders, miracles!

Jānītis looks out the window and sees how dogs have sex.
Jānītis asks his father:
-Dad what are those dogs doing there?
Dad answers:
-Well, you see, this lower dog doesn’t want to go home, but this upper dog drives him home.
Jānītis sighs:
-It’s good that Mom was holding the bed otherwise the postman would have pushed her to the post office.

After learning that the ex-husband would marry the new neighbor, the wife took revenge on the feminine – she married the neighbor’s father and became the wife of his ex-husband.

The mother asks her son:
– What will you do while I’m gone?
– I will play with the babysitter or with a toy train. It depends on what Dad chooses for himself.

In bed:
– Honey, are you really just sleeping with me?
– Of course, dear, with others I do not sleep.

If the beloved woman leaves you of her own free will, she must work for another two weeks.

– Why do you have bruising under the eyes?
– I lost a fight, because of my beloved woman.
– Wow! With what?
– With my wife ..

Wife to husband:
– Choose! Me or beer!
Husband:
– How much beer?

-How did the dispute with his wife end yesterday?
– Great! She crawled on her knees in front of me!
– Seriously? And what did she say?
– Get out of bed, you bitch!

Two men meet:
– Hello, what’s so sad?
– The son was born.
– But it’s wonderful!
– Wonderful already wonderful, but the wife also found out somehow.