Jokes

Wife angry at husband:
– Where have you been home in the morning?
Husband shyly:
– At the bar Then I stayed with a friend.
The wife calls ten of her husband’s friends. It turns out that he has spent the night at six and is still asleep at four.

The man returns from a business trip. The wife sits and reads a Roman novel.
– A Roman? Again?
– Roman, come out, he knows everything!

– Hello, honey? Where are you?
– Hi! I’m home. I will go to bed soon. How about you?
– I’m right next to your table at a bar.

– 4 in the morning !!! Again all night drinking, smoking and partying with the girls? !!
– Dad, envy in general is a bad trait ..

In order for the wife to no longer squeak, smear or irritate, all that remains is to flip hard on the table with a new mink fur coat.

Woman’s “I’ll be ready in 15 minutes” can be equated with men’s “I’ll be home in 15 minutes”.

Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce her to your wife.

If you don’t use your loved one as a hand and foot warmer, then it’s not a serious relationship for you.

Little Ilze is a very pious child. She ends her evening prayer with the words:

– Protects mom and dad and gives clothes to those poor girls that Dad looks at in the magazine.

– I heard you’re going to divorce! Maybe you will change your mind? You have lived with your wife for so long!
-Wife says I love another!
– Which one then?
-I do not know! She hasn’t decided yet!

After work, the man runs into the apartment and screams angry:
– I know everything!
Wife:
– OK good. So how many tributaries does the Daugava have?

He gave her a scales for her birthday, she gave him a ruler

The wife is standing by the mirror, studying herself ..
– Dear I am terrible! Say at least a compliment …
– Beloved, you have great eyesight!

Wife to husband:
– When will you be home?

Husband to wife:
– When you finally remember that on Fridays I come home on Saturday

In the evening, the man turns to the mirror – shaves, smells, puts on a jacket, ties and asks his wife:
– Honey, don’t you mind if I go to the club tonight?
“Come on, darling, I’m not holding you by the horns …”

-Listen, Janis, you need to go to the doctor, you lack calcium in your body.
– Why do you think so?
– Your wife and I have been cheating on you for three years, but your horns are not growing or growing.

What does a wife do when she finds out that her husband is going to the opera with another lady?
Organizes concert houses.

Wife – husband:
– Did you see a lovely couple coming to our neighbors? He hugs a woman all the time, a kiss, called a dove. Why don’t you ever do that?
– Come on! I hardly know him!