Jokes
Aries: “Ok … Go for a new one!”
Taurus: “I want to eat! Give me pizza!”
Gemini: “Where’s the TV remote?”
Cancer: “When will we get married?”
Lion: “Was I great?”
Virgo: “Wait, I’ll look at the sheet.”
Libra: “If you liked it, then I liked it.”
Scorpio: “Well, now you can be untied.”
Sagittarius: “Don’t call me, I’ll call myself.”
Capricorn: “Do you have a business card?”
Aquarius: “uh, but now let’s try without clothes!”
Pisces: “So what, you say, call you?”
Paris. Evening. Through the open window:
– Louise, how’s our every night ?!
– Oh dear, I have a headache. Finish in a glass, I will then drink ..
– Hello, sexy. Cool photo. Want you. Don’t want to feel a raging stallion?
– An interesting offer from an anonymous person, of course. And what else in the program?
– It seemed to me that we could take it very well. Don’t want to meet my Napoleon?
– And what else?
-You will shout for pleasure and will want more, and more, and more!
– Okay, persuade. I was already wet. I’ll be with you in an hour.
– In an hour? … I will want a long time, because I am very durable …
– Very good. I just have nothing to do. Where do you live? I put on sexy lingerie and ride.
– Hell, I can’t.
– Okay, I came, picked you up and dropped us off at the hotel. Really fuck.
– Paga, how long will we be in that hotel?
– All night, of course. But you promised – over and over and over again! I am resilient.
– I can’t all night, I don’t like hotels.
– Well, I’m coming to you, get in the car, let’s go to the forest to have sex.
– Right away?
– Of course. Don’t waste time. I want to feel a raging stallion.
– Isn’t it too cold?
– Well do not pull in length – we press!
– It’s so fast. I have to think.
– Well, what’s there to think! But I shouted with pleasure.
– I can’t do that right away.
– What does it mean – I can’t? He himself offered to take it.
– Well I offer, but you have to take into account other people’s time as well.
– I’m on the bill. And with your time too. Will you be ready? Where do you live? Give the phone.
– No, I won’t give a phone number. You’re kind of insane.
– Well, give the number. I want to shout for pleasure.
– I don’t want to correspond with you anymore. Don’t write to me anymore.
– Where are you going?
– All! , don’t write to me anymore.
– Dear, during sex your face changes so much!
– Idiot, we’re in position 69! …
The husband, a police officer, rises earlier from work at home and finds his wife naked in bed. He starts running angrily around the apartment and searching the usual hiding places of his lovers.
You look in the closet – no, opens the bathroom door – also no.
Well, finally he starts to look under the bed, but there, from the bottom of the bed, he reaches for a hand with a five. An angry man takes five and is disappointed down: – Neither!
Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people), like NIKE (just do it), like PEPSI (ask for more), like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited), and like me (too good to be true)
– What do a woman and a diploma have in common?
– It takes several years to get it, but then you don’t know what to do with it.
Estonian has gone to a doctor – venereologist:
– Doctor, please look! I have something wrong.
The doctor examines and asks:
– So, so… when was the last time you had sex?
– 3 days ago.
– Well, friend, congratulations, you’re done!
I always wonder about people who go home from work to have lunch. How do their nerves withstand going to work twice a day?
The wife comes in to the neighbor and says, “My man is no longer sleeping with me, he somehow avoids sex, what should I do?”
The neighbor thought, “When a man comes from work, meet him in the bedroom, for example, naked and on all fours with the bottom to the door, he will definitely climb on top of you and then you will have sex.”
The prince kissed the sleeping beauty, but she turned to the side with the words “Five more minutes” and pulled the blanket over her head.
What words do I say most often during sex? You will not believe: – Murmur, out of bed!
– I need urgent psychological rehabilitation.
– Come here, let’s get together!
– You’re a real friend.
– Dear, will you buy me a rug?
– Too much will, just fly on the broom for now.
– How long will you wander around to other women? We already have three children, and none of them are from you!
People are getting fatter because the knowledge, experience and wisdom they have accumulated over the years do not fit in their head and begin to spread throughout their bodies.
– Dear, what can I bring from Italy?
– An effective remedy for what you brought me from Turkey…