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Tag: sex therapy

  • Orgasm On a Cake and Other Things. People Trust Sex Therapists With the Strangest Secrets

    Orgasm On a Cake and Other Things. People Trust Sex Therapists With the Strangest Secrets

    Almost everyone these days feels comfortable, and it’s even fashionable, to discuss their weirdest sexual desires, and the secrets of humanity’s bedroom have been revealed by sex therapists in more than one book, podcast, and TV show. Sex therapist Lucy Rowett is faced with spicy details and strange secrets entrusted to her by patients almost every day in her work, writes The Sun.

    Lucy claims to have heard just about everything, from dogs stealing vibrators to having sex with a sponge cake…

    The specialist said: “Most people expect our sessions to be serious, but at the end of the day, sex is fun. Of course it’s heartbreaking to hear the difficulties people are facing.”

    Lucy talks about some of the problems that patients come to sex therapists with and what solutions she offers:

    PROBLEM #1: Lack of self-confidence and/or feelings of shame

    Lucy’s answer: “Many women find it difficult to accept their sexuality if they have a strict upbringing or grew up in a strict religious family. Then they are ashamed, afraid not only of sex, but also of their bodies. We look at photos of the vulva so that they understand that their bodies are not only normal, but also beautiful. Then, during our Zoom session, I instruct clients to turn off the camera and examine their vulva in the mirror. “

    “Some are seeing their genitals for the first time because many have grown up in families where the thought of sex is considered a sin.”

    “The stories don’t surprise me, although sometimes there are shocking details. A woman shyly talked about her habits, eventually revealing a lot of strange hobbies, especially related to food – cream on her chest, orgies in a bath of baked beans… This woman said that she experienced her strongest orgasm while sitting on a cake. All I advised her was to take a good shower after that. Who wants to get a yeast infection from sitting on a cake.

    Sometimes I myself encourage couples to go to a sex shop and explore different sex toys. I am happy when they tell me afterwards that they have found sex toys that they both like. There have also been funny incidents – I met a patient in Tesco and she started telling me excitedly about the bondage games she played with her husband at the weekend. It was interesting to listen not only to me, but also to the others standing in line.”

    PROBLEM No. 2: After having children, sex disappears from life

    Lucy’s answer: “One of the common problems is that after having children, sex often disappears. No matter how great your sex life was before you had kids, there will be obstacles once you have kids. It must be said that open, honest conversations and an interest in your partner’s needs work wonders.

    I see a lot of women feeling overwhelmed, so they get angry at their partner, which hurts the couple’s relationship in the bedroom. Men often fail to understand that a woman’s sexual happiness and desire depends on many things. For some women, sexual desire will appear if their spouse takes out the trash or irons the children’s clothes, because then they will feel loved and understood. “

    “Most men respond positively to the advice to help out more at home, but almost all say they had no idea it was related to their sex lives.”

    PROBLEM N. 3: A woman is constantly faking orgasms

    Lucy’s answer: “The job gives me great satisfaction when I can solve a problem that has troubled a couple for decades. A woman faked an orgasm for more than 10 years because she didn’t want her husband be sad.

    Sex should not be an obligation, it should bring pleasure to both partners. I spoke to this woman, found out how sex makes her feel, and asked her to find time for herself and reconnect with her sexuality.

    Meditation often helps you reconnect with your sexuality. They really thought about my suggestions and started talking openly about sex on a regular basis and started really enjoying it. Now she gives him surprises, like surprising him in the shower. A little effort and open conversations can completely change the way we think about sex.”

  • Suggestions of a 100-year-old sex therapist for a more sensual love life

    Suggestions of a 100-year-old sex therapist for a more sensual love life

    How to gain not only physical pleasure but also emotional fulfilment while making love? How to turn moments together into a sensual adventure that strengthens the connection? To make it easier for you to find answers to these questions, we offer professional advice. That will help for improving a couple’s sexual relationship, provided by 100-year-old sex therapist Shirley Zussman.

    Find out what you want and don’t be afraid to get it

    “If I could turn back time, I would advise every woman to be more aggressive in taking care of her sexual desires,” Zussman said, urging women to explore their bodies, identify sexual desires, and not be afraid to discuss them with a loved one.

    Neatliec mīlēšanos uz vēlāku laiku

    The rushing, staggering and innumerable duty-filled daily causes us to put aside our desires and needs, resulting in sexual life and partnerships generally suffering first.

    “Despite the busy schedule, free up time to make love. You don’t always need hours of foreplay – often ten minutes of quality sex will greatly improve your well-being and mood,” the therapist recommends.

    Seksa terapeites ieteikumi

    Ievies savu seksa “svētnīcu”

    When you have finally managed to set aside time for a love life that may already be covered in dust. It is time to free the bedroom from clear reminders about the work to be done.

    “Today’s women’s bedrooms are actually study rooms. A TV, a computer, a phone set to charge and document folders. All that reduce sensuality and the ability to focus solely on one’s own and one’s partner’s well-being.

    Free your bedroom from work – related items as much as possible by putting candles and fresh flowers in their place. That will create a romantic and playful mood, “suggests Zussman.

    Nebaidies uzdrīkstēties

    To surprise your partner, you do not always need a significant arsenal with a variety of sex toys. Instead, you can choose underwear that you don’t usually wear and surprise your partner with a much more spicy image.

    Also, don’t be afraid to fantasise and indulge in a little daring, if you want to – the most important thing in this situation is not to do anything playful and artificial.

    Seksam nav jābūt ekstrēmam

    Glowing love can take place both in the stopped elevator and in the old, right marriage bed. Do not try to have sex for all sorts of times in the most extreme moments, hoping to wake up a little passion. The most important thing is to make love when you really want to and to do it according to your wishes, not to chase after generally accepted standards.

    Never forget about foreplay

    Touches, caresses and kisses bring pleasure to both women and men. Don’t rush to start the act yourself until you have fully enjoyed each other’s intimacy during the foreplay.

    Don’t be afraid of the tiredness of love life

    Every healthy woman has a desire for physical intimacy. If you feel that you are unable to get excited and enjoyed by making love, talk about it with your partner, rather than accepting the current situation by blaming yourself.

    “Often women live a lifetime and don’t even know what good sex is. If you keep quiet about your desires and don’t get pleasure from making love, you will probably stay that way,” the therapist sums up.

  • Recommendations of a 100-year-old sex therapist for a more sensual love life.

    Recommendations of a 100-year-old sex therapist for a more sensual love life.

    How to gain not only physical pleasure but also emotional fulfillment while making love? How to turn moments together into a sensual adventure that strengthens the connection? To make it easier for you to find answers to these questions, we offer professional advice for improving a couple’s sexual relationship, provided by 100-year-old sex therapist Shirley Zussman . 

    Find out what you want and don’t be afraid to get it 

    “If only I could turn back time, I would advise every woman to be more aggressive in taking care of her sexual desires,” Zusman said, urging women to explore their bodies, identify sexual desires, and not be afraid to discuss them with a loved one. 

    Don’t put off making love for later 

    The hurried, stressful and countless daily life forces us to put aside our desires and needs, as a result of which it is usually sex life and partnership that usually suffers. 

    “Despite the busy schedule, take the time to make love. You don’t always need hours of foreplay – often ten minutes of quality sex will greatly improve your well-being and mood, ”recommends the therapist. 

    Sex therapist recommendations

    Introduce your own sex “shrine” 

    When you have finally managed to set aside time for a love life that may already be covered in dust, it is time to free the bedroom from clear reminders about the work to be done. 

    “Modern women’s bedrooms are actually study rooms. A TV, a computer, a chargeable phone, and document folders all reduce sensuality and the ability to focus solely on your own and your partner’s well-being. 

    Free your bedroom from work-related items as much as possible by putting candles and fresh flowers in their place, which will create a romantic and playful mood, ”Zusmena recommends. 

    Don’t be afraid to dare 

    To surprise your partner, you do not always need a significant arsenal with a wide variety of sex toys. Instead, you can choose underwear that you don’t usually wear and surprise your partner with a much more spicy image. 

    Also, don’t be afraid to fantasize and indulge in a little daring, if you want to – the most important thing in this situation is not to do anything playful and artificial. 

    Sex doesn’t have to be extreme 

    Glowing love can take place both in the stopped elevator and in the old, right marriage bed. Do not try to have sex for all sorts of times in the most extreme moments, hoping to wake up a little passion. The most important thing is to make love when you really want to and to do it according to your wishes, not to chase after generally accepted standards. 

    Never forget about foreplay 

    Touches, caresses and kisses bring pleasure to both women and men. Don’t rush to start the act yourself until you have fully enjoyed each other’s intimacy during the foreplay. 

    Don’t be afraid of the tiredness of love life 

    Every healthy woman has a desire for physical intimacy. If you feel that you are unable to get excited and enjoyed by making love, talk about it with your partner, rather than accepting the current situation by blaming yourself. 

    “Often women live their whole lives and do not know what good sex is. If you remain silent about your wishes and do not get pleasure from making love, most likely, it will stay that way, ”the therapist sums up.