Pop culture openly talks about sex, turning the subject into play, intrigue and humor. But when it comes to a specific person, it becomes a much more sensitive subject. In films or TV series, the characters embark on romantic adventures without condemnation and usually without much remorse. For example, during the 94 episodes of the series “Sex and the City”, the main characters have been seduced by 95 partners. How about in real life? How many Exes can fit in a good girl’s closet?
How many men, nights – relationships (in any form) – can a young modern woman survive in order to still calmly rank among the polite and reserved? How much is too much?
In romantic relationships, sooner or later the question of “how many exes” comes up. Obviously everyone has their own ‘number’, but when faced with the question of how many partners you’ve had, your eyes casually shift diagonally down from the gaze of a loving companion to analyze the pattern on the street pavement, and then a heated discussion starts.
First of all, an active and modern woman does not always write down her romantic adventures in a diary, and to be honest, she can cramp her hand. Second, what does the answer have to be to get you a ticket to the next date? Speak honestly (after all, we are all adults and have nothing to be ashamed of), pretend to be the height of decency and lie, or come up with some incoherent idea (and buy some time)?
Such immediate panic may seem childish, but after a little research on the Internet, it turned out that it is not completely out of the question. A study by a UK beauty and health product manufacturer found that around 8% of respondents would break up with a partner who has had too little experience, and 30% with a partner who has had too much experience.
Men are stricter in this area – the study says that they prefer women who have had no more than 14 sexual partners.
The golden mean for both men and women is 7.5 partners. True, this average varies from region to region. For example, the average number of sexual partners in the US is 7.6, while Europeans seem to be more inclined towards physical variety. In France, crowned as the cradle of love and romance, the average number of those surveyed is 10.
However, there is an inseparable gap between statistics and personal experience. A gap that no amount of research or numbers can fill. The point is that the question “how many exes do you have” is difficult to answer with a simple number.
Each of them is a story, starting with the first crush and half a year of modest glances, which finally ripen the first fruits, followed by a crazy passionate night. From the highest and purest hopes ending in bitter tears, to the smell of cocktails, escaping 4 years of torment accompanied by the fear of being alone.
Putting it all together in a few syllables sounds like a sentence after which you want to innocently exclaim “But I’m just looking for LOVE, everything is not what it seems”.
But here is a completely different question – when can you move to the bedroom? Is a romantic weekend trip enough? 3? 5? 10 dates?
In today’s modern and fast-paced life, there is a less romantic but necessary perspective – spontaneity or relationships without commitments/expectations. We have so many options to satisfy our various needs, including sexual – the expanding night culture, the rise of Tinder allows you to float calmly from one partner to another without the slightest effort. And the flourishing sexual liberalism helps to hide from the old remnants of morality (these are different times).
So is THAT number is still relevant? Should a confident and active woman worry about how many men are on her account? Should such an account even exist?
In my opinion, sex is an integral part of a mature person’s life, and shaming yourself or others will not lead to positive results. It’s not about the numbers – it’s about the relationships you build. Are they fair and satisfactory to all parties involved? After all, neither grandma’s stern look and shaming, nor nun’s discipline will erase sex from your life.
Sex on the first date is the perfect start to a relationship