The range of vibrators today is unimaginably wide: different shapes, colors, sizes and vibrations. In addition, every vibrator is designed to meet different needs. You heard right – needs! Vaginal penetration alone is rarely enough for women to reach orgasm during sex. More precisely, very rarely.
Why do women use sex toys?
In a study conducted by the University of Indiana, it was found that of all the women surveyed, only 18 percent experience an orgasm during sex without any additional stimulation. So you really shouldn’t be surprised if your partner keeps a vibrator in her nightstand drawer. And what we would like to say to women – you are doing the right thing! You really don’t have to ignore your needs. If you need a vibrator to reach the peaks of pleasure – go for it!
However, we have heard a lot of complaints that it is the man who doesn’t want his partner to use vibrator.
Why doesn’t he want you to use a vibrator and what can you do about it?
In fact, there are several common reasons why men blame their partners for using sex toys (especially those that resemble the shape of a penis). Let’s discuss some of them.
He feels competition
As absurd as it may seem, this type of thinking is the most common reason why he feels uncomfortable when he finds out that his lady has a vibrator in her nightstand. If he thinks this vibrator is a substitute for his penis, he should be politely told that it won’t be. Explain to him that no toy made of plastic or silicone can imitate sex between two people. The vibrator will not caress, kiss or look into her eyes in the most intimate moment.
In addition, vibrator is great for both partners: thanks to it, both of you can experience orgasm during sex and not feel guilty that someone may not achieve it. If he thinks that a quick “in and out” action will bring you to orgasm, he is most likely completely ignorant of the female anatomy. Only every fourth woman experiences an orgasm from simple vaginal sex. Others need clitoral stimulation. That’s the statistics, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Unless you include a vibrator in your sex games.
The solution – vibrators for couples
Another good way to calm your partner down is to suggest getting a couples vibrator. Sex will be even more pleasant – after all, women’s hands do not vibrate 200 times per second (unlike some male masturbators). With the help of sex toys, a person can feel the kind of pleasure that the other person simply cannot physically provide. And there is nothing wrong with that! It’s best to just enjoy the benefits of sex toys.
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He doesn’t like the fact that he cannot satisfy his partner
Seeing that with the help of a vibrator it is easier for you to reach orgasm than by making love in the usual way, he is afraid of losing his self-confidence. He finds that the vibrating toy makes this job much better. In this case, it is best to calm him down and say something like: “I wanted to introduce something new to our sex life. We can use it together, you’ll see, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” The female anatomy is quite complex and requires long and precise stimulation to reach orgasm. It can be difficult for another person to navigate this maze of pleasure and intensely stimulate THIS point without tiring and getting off target, so a vibrator only makes the job easier. And when one is happy, so is the other.
It is certainly not strange or unusual for a woman to have a vibrator. According to The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 81 percent of women have a sex toy in their bedroom. In fact, it can even be good for your relationship – when we start talking openly about sex and our needs, we become closer and feel more comfortable. So a vibrator can not only improve sex, but also your relationship outside the bedroom.
He doesn’t like the idea of you using a vibrator when he’s not around
All people start masturbating at one point in their lives – it’s really not a secret. And everyone likes to do it differently. Some fantasize, others watch adult movies, others read erotic stories, others use vibrators and masturbators. If your partner does not like using a vibrator for masturbation, explain that this type of masturbation gives you the greatest pleasure and is the most acceptable. If he still objects, you should start worrying about his selfish behavior. You can also try mutual masturbation – masturbate and watch each other at the same time. Seeing how much pleasure you get from using a sex toy should make him realize that there is no reason to worry.
However, the best advice in such situations is to talk with each other. Let your partner tell you exactly what is bothering them and try to solve it in conversation. The secret to a good sex life is effective communication, so ditch your awkwardness and start the conversation.