– Touch my breasts! Do you see how hard my nipples are? It’s from the cold…

– Fuck off Dave and start working!!!

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?” She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.” Eventually the lady asks, “Aren’t you gonna bite them?” He replies, “No, it’s too expensive.”

A hairdresser with large breasts must have long arms.

– Touch my breasts! Do you see how hard my nipples are? It’s from the cold …

– Knock it off, James, and start working!!!

The family is sitting at the dinner table. The son asks the father:
“Dad, what types of breasts can you name?”
The father replies: “Well, there are 3 types of breasts in general. For women in their 20s, breasts are like melons – round and firm. In her 30-40 years, her breasts are like pears – still nice, but a little drooping. At 50 they are like onions.
” Son: “How onions ???”
Father: “Yes – you see them, but you cry from them.”
The mother and daughter are outraged, and the daughter immediately asks, “Mom, what kind of ‘friends do you know?”
The mother says: “Well… men go through three phases. For them, in 20 years, the member is like an oak – powerful and strong. 30-40 years as birch – flexible but durable. In 50 years, it’s like a Christmas tree.
” Daughter: “How’s the Christmas tree ???”
Mother: “Well yes, darling. It’s dead and the eggs serve only as a decoration.”

The main difference between matches and women’s breasts:
Matches are for adults, but sometimes children play with them.
Women’s breasts, on the other hand, are intended for children, but very often and adults like to play with them.

The guy is sitting at the bar. An obvious supermodel enters the bar: eyes, lips, breasts, legs, hips – all sexy. The guy notices that she is looking at him and tries to get acquainted:
– Maybe one coke?
Supermodel:
– Yes of course.
They both drik coke. The guy says:
– Maybe gin and tonic?
Supermodel:
– Yes of course.
They both drink. The guy:
– Maybe let’s go for a walk?
Supermodel:
– Yes of course.
They both go out. Walk for a while. The guy:
– Maybe let’s go to my place?
Supermodel:
– Yes of course.
They go to the guy’s house. The guy:
– Maybe let’s have another drink?
Supermodel:
– Yes of course.
They drink. The guy:
– Maybe one kiss?
Supermodel:
– Yes of course!
They kiss. The guy:
– Maybe let’s undress?
Supermodel:
– Yes of course!!!
They both undress. Both laying in bed. The supermodel impatiently asks:
– Well, what’s next?
The guy:
– I don’t know… I’ve never got further than one coke before.

You have fake lips, fake hair, fake breasts – and you want to find a real man?

Young woman goes to church to confess her sins:

-Father, yesterday I called some guy “son of a  bitch”.

-Why did you do that?

-He touched my hand.

-Like this? – pastor touches girl’s hand.

-Yes!

-But that’s not a reason to call him son of a bitch.

-He also touched my breasts.

-Like this? – pastor touches girl’s breasts.

-Yes!

-But that’s no reason to call him son of a bitch.

-He undressed me!

-Like this? – pastor undresses the girl.

-Yes!!

-Well, that’s no reason to call him son of a bitch.

-Well, but then he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what.

-Like this? – pastor puts his thing into her place.

-Yes!!!

-It’s no reason to call him son of a bitch either.

-But he had AIDS!

-THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!

Correct and polite sex

– Lydia, would you mind having sex with me?

– Yes, Eduard, I am still in the mood to get together.

– Take off your clothes.

– You too, my friend.

– Lydia, you have properly shaped breasts.

– Eduard, you have a strong erection.

– Let’s try pose no. 83. This will ensure optimal access.

– Please be tactful with me.

– I insert my penis into your vagina, Lydia.

– I’m passionate, Eduard. My body glows in flames. Please go a little higher if not hard.

– I started friction. “You may increase the amplitude, Eduard.”

– Lydia, you have a properly shaped breast.

– Thank you, Eduard. Your frictions do not leave me indifferent.

– We continue the act of association.

– Eduard, I culminated.

– Me too, Lydia. Stormy enough.

– Thank you.

– Thank you.

They lay quietly in bed after wild sex, he gently stroked her hair, gently ran her fingers over her forehead, cheeks, lips, neck, stroked her firm breasts … He looked at her face for a long time, then whispered: – It’s so sorry you’re made of rubber …

The man enters the public house and says:
– I’m asking for a girl with big breasts and a small ass.
– Yes, right now, sit down for now, read the magazines.
After a moment, the speaker announces:
– Sir, with long arms and a short cock, please go to the fourth room.