Married life without sex is quite common. For what reasons does sexual intercourse become less frequent or disappear altogether?
The belief that sexual desire should arise spontaneously
The phrase “Honey, why don’t we make love?” cuts a woman’s libido like a knife. Since the time of Z. Freud, there is an opinion that there is only one type of sexual desire – spontaneous. A person realizes that they want to have sex, and from this thought alone they are ready to go to bed in an instant. It’s just that the reality is that this is usually attributed to men. Women, hearing such a phrase from a man, usually freeze. They start to blame themselves and fear that there is something wrong with them, because they cannot “get it going” even though they love their partner.
Women’s libidos are different. Emotional, psychological, energetic and physical stimulation is important for them.
However, often the couple’s expressions of tenderness are limited to a short foreplay that helps the woman to turn on… just a little. Lust must be awakened, not demanded to be ignited with one blow of the pin.
Women who do not understand the mechanism of sexual desire think that a little pleasant excitement is enough to start them having sex. They have no idea that it is possible to achieve complete arousal and that then sex will bring satisfaction and pleasure, and true intimacy will be born between partners. When women understand how to achieve maximum arousal and deep sexual satisfaction, their libido becomes more spontaneous.
Efforts to experience orgasm
At the beginning of a relationship, sex is passionate because we are open and curious. But with time, partners stop studying each other: we start to think that we already know each other well enough and know what makes the other happy. It kills passion, especially in women. During intercourse, the feeling of unity disappears and only the final goal remains – to achieve orgasm. By reviving curiosity and pleasurable excitement, it is possible to make the relationship passionate again.
Lack of emotional intimacy
Family life without sex is not only about lack of intimacy in the relationship. Your sex life can suffer if emotional intimacy is also lacking. If you feel emotionally detached from your partner, it can be difficult to connect or enjoy sex. This is not just for women; men also crave emotional intimacy.
Spending quality time together can help build emotional intimacy and eventually restore physical intimacy as well. It is important for couples to understand why sex is important and that sex and intimacy can be used as the glue to keep a loving bond together.