“My boyfriend sometimes watches porn, but now his habit has increased to several times a day. He can’t even enjoy sex with me like before,” writes Simone (name changed). What to do when your partner is addicted to porn?
“I’m worried that the I am the problem, I think he is not interested in me anymore. I tried everything I could to help our sex life, from going out on the weekends to buying sexy underwear.
Even though we had a great time in the evenings, my boyfriend was never able to finish.
He’s 33 and works as a hairdresser, so he’s on his feet all day, but that shouldn’t be a factor, right?
I am 29 years old. My boyfriend and I have been living together for five years.
I am joyful and bold, especially when it comes to sex. I would say I have a high libido.
I found out he was addicted to porn because he bought a new phone and offered me his old one.
I will admit that at that moment I was relieved to see that he had nothing to hide from me. But when I looked at his internet history, every possible porn site was there, n the morning, noon and sometimes at night when I was sleeping next to him.
I had read that watching too much porn could affect sex life, but I had no idea that this could happen to me.
Yesterday I directly and specifically asked him how much porn he watches and he started denying it all saying he doesn’t need it because he has me.
But I know that’s not true.
So now I don’t know if I should talk to him again because it will look like I’m calling him a liar and I’ll have to admit I spied on him.
Is it time to confess?”
Expert commentary
“Everyone has the right to a private life, but in this case it’s fair to say that you found his secrets on your phone.
The real problem here is that his addiction has started to affect your relationship and may affect other aspects of his life as well.
Most adults enjoy watching pornography, but when it starts affecting your sex life, you know it’s a problem.
Porn sites use algorithms that force the viewer to focus on increasingly extreme footage. It suppresses the appetite for normal sex. And then a person enjoys themself without a partner.
Find a calm moment to explain to him what you stumbled upon.
Say that you’re not offended, but that you think that overcoming this problem will help your sex life.”
A study reveals the harm that too much pornography is doing to women