“I had a strange conversation with my husband. We went for a walk. Earlier that day, I had read about what does or does not count as cheating. I read it out loud to my husband and we started discussing it. During the discussion we came to the question of relationships with others. I asked my husband if he could ever live in an open relationship. Something like this – we are family and that’s the most important thing, but there can be sex with others, if there is a lot of desire or affection.
What answer did I expect from him? “No, I would never want another one, and I wouldn’t give you to anyone,” is how I imagined the answer. But the answer was nothing like that.
In fact, his approach was much more liberal.
“Why not… Of course, I don’t see the need for an open relationship right now, but in the future, if we want to, why not? However, the main thing is that we love each other, and sex is just a matter of pleasure. I don’t know, if you are raising small children, then of course you have to live traditionally, but if you don’t have children or they have grown up, you can live in any way.” This was his answer.
I immediately lost trust in him. Of course, I asked him many questions after that. How could he live knowing I was with someone else? Would he like to be with another woman? Speaking and seeing his calm expression, hearing his answers only made it worse. I really wouldn’t want that. I didn’t answer him because I didn’t want to start crying. But this approach is really unacceptable to me.
I understand that no one gets divorced because of things like “I MIGHT want to”. But it hurt me completely to know that my husband would gladly have sex with other people and let me do it. I feel how this awareness changes the whole attitude towards him and makes me think about the future separately. Maybe there are couples who live like this? It would be unbearable for me. “