“It’s better to love and lose than to live with that crazy person for the rest of your life,” is just one of the many pieces of advice divorced men give about marriage and its ending. It is customary for many to dream of the ideal option when two kindred spirits meet who cannot live without each other, create a family and live together until death. Well, maybe not for a lifetime, but at least for a while.
But you have to face the truth – although the situation has improved a little in recent years, the probability of divorce is still around 50 percent, writes womansday.com.
It must also be recognized that those who have experienced love and those who have lost it can be proud of extremely valuable emotional experiences. People who have experienced more serious disappointments in their lives seem to know themselves better. So it’s time to share some insights that might help readers deal with relationship problems. Let’s look at 10 life lessons from divorced men for anyone in a relationship.
First, you need to take care of yourself
“In my opinion, it is impossible to be with someone in a romantic way if you do not take care of yourself on a physical, mental and emotional level. For example, I often experienced stress and couldn’t find ways to get rid of it, because I focused too much on the need to be a good partner,” Matt, 30.
Love will not solve all problems
“It is important to know what your most important requirements are from your partner. I’m not talking about a master’s degree or blonde hair, I’m talking about really important life choices: kids, work or staying at home, etc. It is very important to be honest with yourself and your partner about what you want. If the differences are too great, the relationship cannot exist. Love can’t solve everything. Not only that, love only complicates things further, because one thinks that the other can change, they think so only at this moment, that a compromise will surely be found. But in reality, it is very important to hold fast to your convictions and, if necessary, to back down immediately, while great pain and suffering can still be avoided,” Ed, 33.
The true meaning of compliments
“Tell her that she is beautiful. This is the basic idea of all the books written on this topic,» Colin, 38.
A realistic assessment of life’s challenges
“Understand how the other person communicates and how to find a path that leads to each other. Don’t create false illusions. The reality is that life only gets more complicated and confusing, so you have to understand each other, talk and respect each other’s positive and negative qualities,» Ryan, 40.
Age is not just a number
“Don’t even think about getting married before you are 25 years old. There is no discussion about this. No man knows himself until he is 25 years old,” Brendan, 35.
Intellectual communication
“I would rate our emotional and intellectual connection on a 10-point scale, and if the answer was not 7 in both cases, I would break up with her,” Brad, 42.
Sincerity is the most important thing
“Men marry women hoping they won’t change, but they do, and women marry men thinking they’ll change, but they don’t,” Eric, 43.
The status quo is more important
“Don’t settle for someone who just fills a void in your life,” Steven, 40.
Love a person as he really is
“You have to make sure that she loves you every day as you really are, what you believe in, where you are from,” Gino, 34.