Can you honestly look your partner in the eye and say that you’ve never thought about having sex in a public place? You, like the rest of the world, probably have an exhibitionist streak at play somewhere, or at least a curiosity about it.
Sex in public seems off-limits (maybe because it’s illegal) and the possibility of being caught with dirty hands (literally, it’s possible) gets your adrenaline pumping. Plus, if you’re in a long-term relationship, going wild can spice things up, especially if you feel like your sex life has stalled lately. Get creative—just use your crafty and spontaneous thinking—and bring those vibes outside the closed doors.
“I like to think that we all have a little voyeur (a person who derives sexual pleasure from secretly watching other people in sexual situations, or (more generally) a person who observes other people’s private lives” says Gigi Engle, Certified Sex Coach , sexologist and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love and Life. “The idea of someone watching you have sex is pretty hot. It’s like watching your own porn movie.”
“It also requires a certain level of trust for you to be in it together,” says Amy Levin, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure. “It gives you an opportunity to explore something that can take you to a new erotic experience.”
Engle notes that, in the case of public distortion, it’s important to consider consent. Of course, that also includes you and your partner, and whoever else might be nearby — strangers obviously haven’t signed up to watch you. Being sexually open and adventurous is great, but you also have to be a decent human being, so you have to find the right fuzzy line between public and private.
There is also a very real possibility of being arrested or fined if you are caught. The hottest part is the thought of being arrested, but you don’t have to take it literally to get through. But back to the fun stuff. Here are some of the best and most rewarding places to have sex in public – without getting caught.
In your backyard or on your balcony
If you’re new to public sex, you might want to look into the idea of IRL. “There’s a comfort in your backyard to have peaceful sex,” Levine says. “I think the neighbors will pick up on the secret and your excitement.”
It’s exciting to know that someone might notice you and you’re outside, but in a clean, private space. And since it’s your property, don’t worry about breaking the law.
Make it hotter: Use your patio furniture (except for the backyard grill). “If you have a sofa, this can be a good opportunity to lay back and enjoy some relaxing oral sex outside in the sun,” says Engle. Before you go out, don’t forget to bring water-based lube and your favorite toy.
In your car
Remember when Hannah from The Bachelorette found a condom in Pilot Peter’s car? This could be your future. If Titanic and high school gossip have taught me anything, it’s that a car is a great place to get hot and steamy. It’s a private but public space that you have more control over.
Make it hotter: Turn onto a quiet road at sunset or under cover of darkness, or find an empty parking lot to park discreetly. Skip the front seat (the horn can damage your fairing if you want to blow other things) and go for the back seat instead. This will help you hide and there will be more room to try different poses.
Hotel room
Check into the hotel for a good time. Whether you’re traveling with your significant other or just bought a hotel room for a sexy getaway, make it your playground. It may not feel like public, but when you open the curtains (all the way up) and have sex against the window, it’s pretty close. It doesn’t matter if your view overlooks a parking lot or another building, you’ll still hustle knowing that people can (and likely will) see it.
Make it hotter: Raise the stakes and wait until the evening when you can turn on all the lights to illuminate you and your partner. Wow.
Park or forest area
Who doesn’t like to be in nature? Find a place to hang out in an empty, low-traffic park or lightly wooded area. “You want to have enough camouflage with enough ‘public’ to make it sexy,” Engle says. She also warns against venturing into a wooded area because the damage from bugs and ticks (or poisonous plants) is not good. If you want to be on the ground, bring a blanket to avoid mud and grass stains. “This will give you a temporary sex zone and something to use for a quick cover up,” Engle says. You know, just in case.
On the roof
This is more practical for urban dwellers who have access to a flat roof, so take proper precautions. But an open roof is like your balcony, only riskier because anyone (and everyone) can see it. Engle has one important reminder: if you’re outdoors and going to be there for a while, don’t forget to wear sunscreen.
Make it hotter: Bring a pillow, thick yoga mat or towel, or something soft for comfort (rooftops are… hard). You can also tuck it below the hips for deeper penetration.
Sex party
Although it might be light years out of your comfort zone, a sex party has a serious benefit: you can avoid the distraction of getting caught to focus on the performance. At events like this, you don’t have to worry about who’s watching because everyone’s there for the same reason. So you can let your exhibitionism flag fly high.
Make it hotter: The words “boundaries” and “consent” don’t sound sexy, but talking about what you both want from your experience before you arrive will definitely make for a good time. After all, you won’t know what’s on the table until you’ve talked about it with each other…
On the beach
Another new fantasy comes to life, but with a few warnings: Visit a quiet part of the beach at night to avoid people, and stay on land so the salt water doesn’t dry you out. Cover the blankets carefully to keep sand and nasty bugs out of every place of your body. And try positions where you can avoid a lot of sand flying, like riding with a partner on a beach chair.
Make it hotter: Bring a bottle of wine and a pillow for stargazing afterwards. Now you’ve just moved from sex in public to the intimate romantic novel.
In the tent
Oh, the sounds of nature: birds chirping, grasshoppers, campfires crackling and muffled moans. Set up your tent in a secluded campsite (or in your backyard) and clear away any branches or rocks that might be pressing on your back at this point. You will have a tent hood but a shadow image coming through which creates a thrill.
Make it hotter: Don’t forget to stash lube in your backpack (wetter is better) and unzip some of the tent for more airflow. And don’t forget to pack a mattress pad so you don’t have to do it in your sleeping bag (they get very sweaty quickly).
In the Public Toilet
If you are in a hotel, airport or restaurant or any public place and can’t wait to get home for the meal, look for some public bathroom. “You can sneak in and out without being seen together,” Levine says. “Although you have a certain sense of privacy behind a locked door, there’s something very erotic about it,” she says. Plus, you never know what’s outside the door.
However… public bathrooms are atrocious, so you will need to practice. Don’t sit on anything, don’t take off your shoes and take off as little clothing as possible (just push your underwear to the side) and try to hold on to each other instead of the wall and doorknobs.
Make it hotter: Public restrooms are best for a quickie (because, as mentioned, they’re gross and people still have to pee!). So to make things as quick and sexiest as possible, Levine recommends pre-engaging in foreplay with seductive teasing. If you’re sitting at the dinner table, try pressing your leg against your partner’s leg or sneaking a kiss while you stand in line. Then go GET IT.