She is barely over twenty and she looks like any other college student. She is beautiful, dressed in torn jeans and sneakers – passers-by would never think that she is working as an escort girl. She works for a high-end escort agency, earning more money in one evening than most students earn in one month. After just five minutes of conversation, you can see how intelligent she is – she is knowledgeable about current political and economic issues – not what one would expect from a stereotypical sex worker. (See also: Confession of an escort girl: “I categorize my clients”).
“First of all I am ‘myself’ and only then I am an ‘escort girl,” she says. “I do my job because I like it. Of course, working in the sex industry is still very stigmatized, so I usually don’t tell anyone about it, but many have such a misconception about what it really means to be an escort girl. For the most part, my job doesn’t involve having sex at all. ” She gladly agreed to talk to me about her experience in this somewhat unusual field of work.
How did you decide to start doing it?
I thought about this for quite some time. I wanted something that would give me adrenaline. It seemed to me that my life was very ordinary, as if I could live like that anywhere else in the world. I wanted something more, something more interesting that would excite me. I ‘googled’ this topic and found different options. I don’t want to become a full-time escort, so for me, working for an agency is the best option because I have the support of other girls and my boss who does all the security checks.
What was your first experience?
After talking to my current boss, I was given a “test drive”. I met my first client in one of the most luxurious hotels in Riga. Honestly, since I met him, I have never regretted my choice. I had a great evening and since then I have met a lot of interesting people and had a really interesting experience.
Do your parents or any of your friends know where you work?
No, my parents have no idea, and I sincerely hope that it will stay that way. I’m afraid to even imagine what my mother would say!
When I started, I told three of my closest friends, and they have been very supportive – they understand and respect my choice. I’ve told a few more people, but I don’t advertise it too much.
Do you tend to get nervous before meeting a customer?
Oh yes! Every time I go to a meeting, I pray to God. I know, I know, it sounds funny, but it’s my way to relax, calm down. I’m always nervous, but in a good way, it’s more like a pleasant excitement and anticipation.
At first, I was often worried that something would happen to me in terms of security, but now I realize that these men are actually taking a lot more risks than I am. All the trump cards are in the hands of the girls: we say the final word in any decision, and if we think the customer is suspicious, we can blacklist him! I communicate with my boss both before and after the meeting, so everything is very safe and structured. But yes, there is always excitement before each new meeting!
Who are your typical customers? Why do these men pay to meet an escort girl?
My average client is about 40 years old, married, usually with children who may not be so much younger than me. They are usually successful owners or managers of large companies, including doctors or lawyers, mostly from the scientific field. Different countries, careers and religions. I don’t think that I would have met so many different people in my real life.
When it comes to why they pay for sex, most of my clients got married in their youth, and they all have to travel a lot for work. It is a very lonely life, so they often pay for a girl with whom they can simply spend time, indulge in intimacy and friendship because they lack it in their personal lives.
What do you like about your job?
Meeting really interesting people. Seriously! I meet so many different people. And I usually have a great time. I like the dynamics because no one blames anyone. Neither he nor I are in a position to condemn each other.
Is there anything you don’t like?
Yes, of course, as in any other job. Sometimes I have clients who ask me to dress “sexy” because they want to take me out, take me shopping or do something else. They want to appear in public, although it is clear to everyone that this man is much older than me. In situations like this, people just know I’m an escort, and I find that very uncomfortable.
Another thing that sometimes seems very difficult is to constantly listen to other people’s problems. I’m like a bubble of trust for them. Of course, they are allowed to share their personal problems with me. I like to try to help people, but other times listening to their problems seriously affects my mood.
Describe a good escort girl?
Good escort girl will always make her client feel free, relaxed, will not cause unnecessary tension. For the most part, it’s not really sex at all – it’s talking to people. My agency is particularly focused on keeping escort girls educated and intelligent. You have to be able to listen and you really have to take care of this person. My job is much more that just sex.
What’s the weirdest thing anyone has asked you to do?
I got tied up once; it was funny. In general, most of my clients have no particular fetishes. My second client made me wear a leather dress, he blinded my eyes and handcuffed me to his bed. I thought we’re going to have sex, but he just gave me a not-so-good massage. That was all. We didn’t even have sex.
What has this work experience given you?
Oh, very much! Ever since I started working as an escort girl, I have learned more about people and human nature than ever before, and that has taught me to read people. I don’t know how to describe it, but now I can just look at the man and know exactly what he wants. I have also learned a lot about myself. I don’t think it has changed me much, but it makes me think differently about things like sex, relationships and love.
I have to ask: how much do you earn?
I earn 300 euros an hour. On average, I earn 1,300 a week. If I wanted to, I could work every night and earn a lot more, but that would no longer be normal. For a person who has not yet graduated, it is too much.
What do you think is the most common stereotype associated with working in the sex industry?
That they are forced to do it, that women do not enjoy it and that everything is only about sex. I know that if this interview took place with someone in another field of the sex industry, these things I have mentioned could be true, but the work of high-class escort girls is certainly more about friendship and communication than sex, and most girls who do it, do it out of experience and not just for money. And no one is forcing us to do so, it is our own choice.
There is still a lot of prejudice. Have you had any negative experiences for this reason? What do you think about prejudice against sex workers?
In my opinion, it seems completely unnatural to many people that a woman really enjoys sex and wants to become an escort girl or a prostitute of her own free will. Although the money is very, very good – much more than we could ever hope to earn at this age in any other profession, many of us do it because of the experience and satisfaction we receive. I can say from the bottom of my heart that I really like it.