Reddit AskMen had a discussion on the topic “what advice would you give to guys who are about to have sex for the first time?” and men shared their observations based on their personal experiences. If this question is also relevant to you, here are the five most frequently mentioned tips on what to expect and how to behave during first sex.
“It doesn’t matter if it’s your first time or your first time with a new partner, keep in mind that her consent is the key! If your partner says STOP, stop immediately and try to approach her in other ways (or if she says she doesn’t want to continue, forget your insistence – that’s her choice). Wait until she is ready.”
“Talk to your partner! Communication is an integral part of all relationships, including sex. This means much more than enthusiastic approval. By responding to your partner’s verbal and non-verbal cues, you can ensure that you both have an amazing experience. Making love is not just a physical act, communication is equally important. Don’t be afraid and don’t rush. Control your emotions.”
“Foreplay is the next natural step after communication. When you know what interests and turns your partner on, you can be sure that she will enjoy sex as much as you do. Explore each other during foreplay and find what you like. Talk and listen… Sex can end too quickly or take too long. A long foreplay will help avoid such scenarios. Make sure your partner enjoys it, but don’t forget to enjoy the process yourself. Intimacy makes the sex good. But sex is no substitute for intimacy… Hugs are a good way to ensure that there is enough intimacy between you.”
“Remember, this is real life, not pornography! Just as you don’t try to replicate action movie stunts in your everyday life, you need to understand that pornography is entertainment. It is a very specific and abbreviated version of sex, which does not always correspond to reality. If you try to repeat pornographic positions during the first sex, you will most likely be disappointed or… get hurt. Pornography is far from reality. Don’t try to fantasize too much.”
“It’s also important to keep in mind that porn is no substitute for sex education and that most women, contrary to what you’ll see online, don’t achieve orgasm from just regular sex. Touch her body, not just her vagina. Don’t dig like a drill like you’ve seen in porn videos. If you’re finished but she isn’t, you can use your fingers to help her finish too.”
“During the first sex, most likely, everything will not go as smoothly as you have planned, and this is normal. You’re going to accidentally pull her hair, you’re going to have to catch your breath to get moving again, your feet or knees are going to slip, something’s bound to hurt, and you’re going to be a little clumsy in general.”