What blocks orgasm and causes sexual dissatisfaction? Lack of self-confidence, lack of foreplay, lack of tenderness, performance errors… Discover what psychological factors can affect your sexual fulfillment.
- Lack of tenderness, dignity and listening: There is a lot of talk about how important communication really is in sexual relationship. It only seems logical that we want to find someone with whom we have rich and fluid conversations, not someone with whom we have difficulty understanding. Good communication and simple well-being with someone is one of the factors that gets you to orgasm. So be nice, understand and listen to your partner – that’s the basis!
- Sexual education; traumatic, complex sexual experiences, agitation or violent fantasies: Any moral judgment and/or psychological disorder will affect the ability to reach orgasm. For example, if you think that your partner’s private body parts are dirty and smell bad, you will have a hard time reaching the climax. Also, if there is a lack of sexual education, fear or if there has been a traumatic sexual experience. All of this damages your relationship with sexuality. You need to be aware of these problems and work with them before you can get to the seventh heaven.
- Lack of self-esteem: The feelings or resentments you have towards yourself or your partner have a huge impact on your enjoyment. For example, if you are depressed, have a low self-esteem, or are very tired, you may have difficulty reaching orgasm.
- Will this or that be okay? Any such pressure will inevitably block the orgasm. You have to make love to get pleasure, not to go from point A to point B. To reach orgasm, you have to go the path of pleasure, not the other way around.
- Too much control; “spectator” effect: This is a logical continuation of the previous advice. To enjoy, you have to be able to indulge in the senses. This is what the American sexologists William Masters and Virginia Johnson, who did the first research on orgasm, call the phenomenon of “spectator”: during sex, we focus too much and judge the situation “from the side.” However, if you feel good with each other, if you feel respected and cared for, it will be easier to indulge in pleasure. So be sure to follow advice #1!
- Do you really need a foreplay? We know that the complete absence of foreplay can lead to an inability to enjoy orgasm, as it prevents the mind from relaxing and enjoying itself. But it is also the other way around: in the case of endless foreplay, the resources of arousal are exhausted and seemingly dispels the enjoyment. So, as always, a balance must be found!
- Rough, fast and/or uncoordinated actions of a partner: Nothing is worse than mechanical love! Sensuality goes through gentle, intimate caresses. So avoid too sharp and inappropriate gestures.
These small frustrations can lead to various types of compensatory behaviors in the long run, such as hypersexuality, nymphomania, exhibitionist and sadomasochistic problems, or even general resistance to any intimate relationship.