Fetishes are a topic that interests everyone. Some people are not afraid to admit that they have a fetish, others look at them and think that they definitely have something wrong with their heads.
The word “fetish” was first used to denote the worship of certain religious objects when they were endowed with supernatural powers. For example, various statuettes or crosses. When we hear this word today, we immediately associate it with sexual arousal. A fetish is a specific part, object or characteristic of the human body that causes sexual arousal.
Nowadays, this word is so common that sometimes it loses its meaning. For example, if you like that women wear high-heels, that doesn’t immediately mean it’s a foot fetish. Nor does the fact that someone is aroused by a certain smell mean that it is a sexual deviation. There are many different fetishes to name, and they are all normal, as long as they don’t interfere with your daily life.
Am I insane?
When can a fetish be diagnosed as a mental disorder? To understand this issue, let’s first look at the criteria for diagnosing fetish disorders according to the “Manual of Diagnosis and Statistics of Mental Disorders“. Fetishes are considered to fall into the same category as voyeurism and exhibitionism and meet three criteria:
- The first criterion: you must have sexual desire that targets a part of the body other than the genitals, or is a non-living object that has lasted for more than six months. They must be expressed in fantasies, desires or behavior.
- The second criterion: your fantasies, desires or behavior have caused you considerable suffering or disrupted your daily life.
- Third criterion: the object cannot be the clothing you use to change (for example, a man changes into a woman’s clothes) and it cannot be a stimulating device, such as a vibrator. So the desire to dress in women’s clothes or use a vibrator is not a fetish.
So for a fetish to be considered disruptive, it must somehow cause you serious inconvenience and last for at least six months. On the other hand, if these criteria are not met, then the particular fetish is a simple sexual interest in activities or objects that you find pleasing.
So as long as your fetishes don’t cause serious problems in your daily life, it’s not worth worrying about and blaming yourself.
Fetish categories
Although there are many fetish objects, they can be divided into three main categories:
- Material fetish – A person with such a fetish usually feels very attached to a certain material, such as latex, rubber, silk or leather. This kind of fetish is quite common and it is quite easy to live with.
- Object fetish – a person with this category of fetishes feels craving for certain things, such as high heels or underwear;
- Fetish of body parts is a craving for, for example, feet, hair, buttocks, etc.
Fetish objects
A person who is not exposed to this subject may have many questions, for example, what exactly are classified as fetish objects? The truth is that it can be almost anything. Imagine any object, and there will probably be at least one person in the world who will have a fetish to it. People have the most unusual fetishes – it just once again shows how different we are and how diverse the world is. Let’s look at some examples:
- Cravings for body modifications such as tattoos or earrings;
- Craving for certain clothing, such as socks, skirts or underwear;
- Craving for rubber or leather materials;
- Craving for certain types of footwear, such as high-heeled shoes;
- Cravings only for certain parts of the body, such as the feet (classic foot fetish), mouth, nails, etc.
- Craving for head or body hair;
- Craving for less common items such as stethoscopes, soothers or diapers;
- Lactophilia – craving for breastfeeding;
- Menophilia – craving for menstrual blood;
- Excitement that occurs when you see someone sneezing.
How does fetishes become alive?
This question is most often asked by people who do not have a fetish themselves, or by those who are afraid to admit it to themselves, because it is difficult to understand how certain objects or human qualities that have no obvious sexual significance in our lives can cause arousal. According to the “Health Line” magazine, there are many reasons why we are bound by one thing or another.
First, some people are more sexually aroused than others. For example, if you accidentally come into contact with a traditionally non-sexual part of your body (feet or fingers) in an intimate situation, the person may like it, and then he or she will naturally begin to see and use it as a sexual object.
Personality is also important – in 2014, a survey was conducted in which 270 people practicing BDSM were interviewed. The results of the survey show that those who like a dominant role have different characteristics than those who take on a submissive role. The sense of power and control was important to the dominant, they were more confident, while the group of the submissive indicated emotionality and expression of feelings as the most important. Both groups valued empathy, honesty, altruism and pleasure equally.
Another aspect that significantly affects the expression of our sexuality is childhood and adolescence, its experiences and traumas. If the subject is enjoyable and important in early adolescence, when our sexuality is just beginning to reveal, there is a good chance that we will associate it with sexuality in the future. The same “Health Line” article talks about Williams, a man with a diaper fetish, and a lifestyle in which adults are considered babies.
While this may sound strange, there are even special communities where people can go and feel safe talking about their fetishes. In the article, he says that he first saw a man in diapers at the age of about 16 when he surfed the Internet. Even then, the idea seemed attractive to him, only at that time he was not yet aware of the existing large community and could not clearly state what he was feeling.
Fetish and relationships
When it comes to fetishes, it is important to talk openly with your partner, trying to include fetishes in your relationship whenever possible. Our partners must accept all forms of our sexuality, not try to get rid of them, because only then can a full and dignified relationship be possible in which we can realize our needs.
For example, if you have a foot fetish, you can sometimes include foot massage or other activities you like in your intimate activities. The desire for a particular material, such as latex, could be filled by changing from time to time. Even if you feel that some fetishes are starting to interfere with your daily routine, talk to your partner and seek help together.