Sometimes we are surprised to see a beautiful woman with an ugly man or a very attractive man with an ordinary woman. There are standards of beauty by which sexuality is judged. However, not everyone rushes like bees to honey just for one handsome man. Where does sexual attraction come from? Why are we sexually attracted to one person or another?
Apart from mental progress, looks play a huge role in sexual attraction. It is the first thing that is noticed, the initial impulse is received, whether this person is worth attention at all.
Sexual attraction is anthropologically determined and thus attracts those who are different to avoid incest. Try to look at the men/women you have been intimate with and you will soon notice that they are quite different in appearance: nose length, eye and hair color, ear shape and size. There is a subconscious effort to approach such a person who would improve the gene pool of the offspring.
For the same reason, those who do not have certain signs considered defects – strabismus, protruding ears, crooked teeth, etc. – are more attractive. Of course, it’s just a primal instinct to notice these things. Later, internal characteristics and behavior also become important for sexuality.
A beautiful body is important
It’s no secret that men especially love with their eyes, so a woman’s appearance will definitely not be the last thing when choosing a partner. Research shows that attraction to members of the opposite sex is related to subconscious nuances, such as the reproductive instinct. Therefore, the most attractive are those whose BMI falls within the normal range. For many men, defined breasts and wider hips seem important. It is also encoded in the subconscious, as it is related to a woman’s ability to bear and nourish healthy offspring.
Women like strong men. Not necessarily muscular, but in most cases taller, with broader shoulders. Although nowadays there is no need to defend yourself from predatory beasts, you also want someone nearby who will protect both you and your future offspring.
Being overweight is associated with poor health, reduced ability to provide for a family and frailty, so many women are not sexually attracted to men with a higher body mass index.
Sexual attraction is related to past experiences
The understanding of the world, including sexuality and the choice of a suitable partner begins to form already in childhood. Listening to adults talk about what kind of women or men are considered beautiful, little by little, a certain ideal emerges, by which we are guided in the future.
In time, the man/woman of your dreams may appear and fulfill your most ardent desires or, on the contrary, disappoint you, break your heart, even hurt you. This experience will lead to further choices: continue using the same “frame” or try to go in the opposite direction as much as possible.
True, not everyone manages to turn in a different direction. It can be caused by a painful childhood trauma. Statistics show that if the father treated the mother badly, about half of the girls will find an aggressive partner in the future. Learning from childhood is not so easy to “shake off”. However, with the help of loved ones or specialists, it is possible and even valuable.
Self-confidence is attractive
It is always emphasized that a confident person looks more attractive and sexier. This applies to both sexes. Self-confidence is an inner strength that radiates from the eyes, body language and gait. In the eyes of such people, you can read: “I know what I want from life and how to get it.” The sexiest persons are the one who are confident in themself, reasonably assess their strengths and opportunities, achieve what they want, does not show infantile whims.
True, many women grew up being taught to behave modestly, sit neatly and speak quietly, so a self-confident lady is sometimes considered vulgar or rude. But strong men want an equal partner. So, in order to become sexier, it is worth developing self-confidence, inner strength.
Nowhere without a sense of humor
In surveys about men’s sexuality, women usually indicate a sense of humor as one of the most important things. It is often in the top three sexiest qualities. Scottish researchers found that the more you like a person, the more you want to make them laugh. And the more attractive a person is, the more likely you are to laugh at their jokes.
According to psychologists, a sense of humor increases attractiveness, you feel good next to such a person, it makes you smile, rewards you with laughter, gives you the opportunity to forget your worries. Most importantly, it promotes safety and allows you to forget about complexes. And for a person who can make people laugh, the greatest happiness is to see others smiling and happy.
Vulnerability or tenderness
Neither ice queens nor bad guys are the most attractive. Well, except for one thing. It’s not for nothing that polls show that men dream of ruling, while women crave bad boys.
But the bad guy gets an extra million sexiness points for petting an abandoned kitten on the street or shedding a tear in a really sad moment. Vulnerability and tenderness indicate not only inner freedom, but also empathy – the ability to understand and respond to the feelings of others.
If a man is not afraid to talk to a woman about his desires, fears, feelings, is not afraid to admit his fault, apologize – with such a person it is worth building a long-term relationship based not on sexual desires, but on emotional closeness.
By the way, both men and women consider people who can be nice to children, play and fool around together to be sexier. This is a subconscious search for a mother/father for future children.
Gentleness is definitely crucial when it comes to quality intimate relationships, which is why such people are extremely attractive.
The sexiest quality is the mind?
You’ve probably heard this observation many times, especially when it comes to men. Unfortunately, it still happens that a highly intelligent woman scares men. It hurts their ego to say the least. But women find intelligent men very sexy. It is not specifically related to IQ, but to mental abilities in a general sense: education, the ability to speak foreign languages, values and political views, tolerance, ambition, entrepreneurship, the ability to lead a conversation on various topics, the already mentioned humor, etc.
Sex takes up a small part of the day. Everything else is based on spiritual things, so you are attracted to people with whom you can talk, laugh, discuss, share information received during the day and be interested in new things.
Women want men who know at least a little more than them, who would be interesting to listen to, feel respect and admiration for. And men especially like to be listened to.
Generosity does not come last
Stinginess is an equally unsexy trait in both men and women. Stingy people are often stingy not only with money, but also with feelings, attention, words, sympathy and other important things in a relationship.
Generosity in any life situation shows kindness, sincerity and the desire to make the person next to you feel good. Generosity can be expressed in different ways – paying out food to the old lady who is standing at the shop counter with a few pennies in her hand, volunteer work, charity initiatives. Generosity is so attractive not only because of care, but also because of quality sex. After all, stingy people are also stingy in bed – no foreplay, no tenderness.