Do you often think about why it is so difficult to find a girlfriend? You know you’re a pretty cool guy, and you may even have had a successful relationship in the past. But right now it seems like a mission impossible! There are some main points that can be the reason why you don’t have a girlfriend.
Some of the reasons are mistrust of women, personal issues that prevent you from meeting women, and simply getting into the “friend zone”. Fortunately, these are problems that can be easily fixed. I will describe each of them and tell you how to deal with them so that you can get the girlfriend of your dreams.
You don’t know how to flirt
This is by far one of the biggest reasons why most guys can’t get a girlfriend. They just don’t know how to flirt successfully.
Effective and correct flirting is an art form. It doesn’t matter if you are good looking or not. If you know how to flirt and do it well, a lot of women will find you attractive.
That’s why I recommend that you learn how to flirt with women properly. It’s a skill that will be useful for life, not just for getting a girlfriend.
I say this because guys should continue to flirt with their girlfriends and wives even if they have been in a relationship for a long time. A little flirting brightens up the everyday and keeps the spark alive.
Flirting is quite simply the right body language. Make eye contact, lean a little closer to her, or touch her hand when making a point during a conversation. You can also flirt by teasing him and joking. Everyone has their own flirting style, so find your own style and practice it with anyone you like.
You are too nervous around women
The second biggest reason why you still don’t have a girlfriend is anxiety.
Anxiety is like a huge black cloud that hangs over your head and prevents you from being yourself and relaxing around people. This is caused by several things. But in the context of dating, it’s usually because you’ve been rejected multiple times.
Anxiety affects everything you do and makes you seriously doubt yourself and every decision you want to make.
Maybe she won’t like me? Maybe I’ll say something stupid? What if she thinks I’m weird? Why can’t I get a girlfriend like everyone else? Why would she want to talk to a guy like me?
If these and similar questions sound familiar, you may be more anxious around women than you should be.
So how to deal with it?
If you feel that your anxiety is getting the best of you, you may benefit from professional help. This is especially true if you are worried because of a negative past experience.
However, it is also possible to get rid of anxiety through different activities. If you expose yourself to a particular stressor often enough, such as talking to women, this anxiety will gradually decrease over time. Try talking to different women, even if they’re not your type, to practice your social skills.
You can also change your thinking about why you are worried. Instead of thinking about what could go wrong, focus on what good could happen.
Remember that you are just talking to a person who is just like you. The worst she could do is reject you, and even then, this rejection from a near-stranger isn’t big enough thing to affect you.
You put women on a pedestal
This is a huge problem for guys who think that women, especially those who are beautiful, are out of their league.
But the truth is, women hate it when guys are desperate to please them, especially if they’re doing it because she’s pretty.
Putting women on a pedestal is akin to objectifying them. By doing this, you are not treating her as an ordinary person, but as a symbol of “perfection”. Women want you to get to know them, not imagine them as your dream girl.
When you start imagining her as your perfect girlfriend, you ignore who she really is. And when you finally see that she’s not perfect, you inevitably feel disappointed. To avoid this disappointment, see her as an imperfect, unique person who is also worth getting to know. Treat her as an equal. It will be easier for her to respect you too, because you won’t put her on a pedestal.
You don’t take care of yourself
Another reason why you don’t have a girlfriend is that you might not be taking care of yourself and your body.
There are too many lazy people who hate the way they look but do nothing to change the situation. And then they cry about not being able to get a girlfriend.
Remember, if you don’t like yourself, why should others like you? Maybe it sounds too harsh, but you have to start somewhere!
So the first step to solving this problem is to get rid of your inner “lazy bum” and start taking care of yourself. Invest in a gym membership, some hygiene items and quality clothes. Trim your hair or beard. It will definitely make you look more masculine.
It doesn’t even matter if you’re pretty or not so pretty. If you smell good, look clean, tidy and well dressed, women will find you more attractive.
You are always negative
Let’s face it, no one wants to be around someone who always laughs at everything.
But do you want to hang out with a friend who is always complaining about everything that has gone wrong in their life? Of course not! And the same goes for women.
As with anxiety, if your negativity feels overwhelming, it may be best to consult a professional. But if you are a pessimistic person ‘by life’, try to at least reduce the negativity that you radiate.
Before approaching a woman, keep in mind that she will most likely reject you if you continue to complain at the end of every sentence. Try to think of something positive that has happened to you recently or something that you really like and talk about it.
She will definitely pick up on your positive attitude. It will also allow her to see a better side of you that she might find attractive.
You “reek of desperation”
There is nothing more unattractive than a man who is desperate. Despair is the opposite of masculinity.
This can take many forms, but often guys are desperate for sex. They will have sex with anything that moves. And they will do anything and everything to get sex.
It shows that you have zero standards and is incredibly unattractive!
Another way desperation is when guys try too hard to please women. A manipulative woman can use this to her advantage. But any other woman will turn away from you.
So how do you avoid this pitfall?
Start with higher standards not only for the looks, but also for the whole set. Don’t be extra nice just because a woman is talking to you. (BUT it’s also good to remember the norms of politeness!) Instead, get to know her and decide if you want to be with her.
Respect yourself! Women will see that you value yourself, and this is one way to gain access to her heart.
You are too insecure
Insecurity comes in many forms. The most common signs are overly jealous, overly controlling, attention-seeking, passive-aggressive, overly dependent, etc.
Getting rid of various insecurities, if any, is a difficult process. But it can be done with the help of a professional therapist.
Another quick way to get rid of insecurities is to learn to be self-compassionate. Stop being so hard on yourself for things you can’t change. Try to silence that voice in your head that tells you that you are not good enough. Then start focusing on the positive qualities that your friends and family love about you.
Remember that you’re not as bad as you think just because you don’t have a girlfriend.
You give up too soon
When guys want to meet women, they go to the right places – bars, events, clubs. But when they get rejected a few times, they give up.
Don’t be like that.
Rejection is a normal part of the dating process. Everyone gets rejected and there’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes rejection isn’t even your fault. Maybe you just hit on someone who’s looking for someone with a different personality, and that’s normal.
There will always be people who just won’t like you, no matter who you are, no matter what you look like, no matter what you do. Just accept it, don’t let it affect you.
The next time you receive a rejection, notice what you can improve and adjust. Learn from your mistakes, then try a different approach. Eventually you will meet women who will like your approach.
You’re always get stuck in the “friend zone”
Are you constantly stuck in the friend zone?
Have you considered that in order for her to want you sexually, you need to show her that you want her in the same way?
The truth is, this is one of the biggest problems many men have when dating. He continues to talk to the girl he likes, but never touches her, approaches her, or does anything a friend wouldn’t do. It does not create any sexual tension.
And then he pretends to be surprised that the girl has no feelings for him.
To fix this, you have to accept that women have a sexual side. You should also accept that you are a sexual person and never hide it from women. And although you don’t want her to think that all you want is sex, don’t get into the second ditch – don’t pretend that sex hasn’t crossed your mind when you’re around her.
Don’t be afraid to approach her, talk to her about sex and start flirting. It is the only way to a physical relationship.
She just doesn’t like you
There are many twists and turns in the dating world, and one of them is this: the women you like don’t like guys like you.
We all have our own type and that’s totally normal. However, there is always the possibility that our types are the ones most likely to reject us.
Maybe you are a very nice, decent guy, but all the girls you like prefer tough guys with tattoos. And it’s not your fault at all.
How do you get out of this mindset? Just don’t put yourself in the frame!
Of course you should stick to your own standards. But the problem lies in the fact that you are only trying to approach one type of woman. To fix this, try approaching women who are not your usual type. If you like blondes, try approaching brunettes. And if you like shy girls, try chatting with a playful, outgoing girl.
It can show you that you can attract women who don’t meet your usual criteria. It shows that you have an open mind and the ability to look past superficial features because you care more about who she is as a person.
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