Everyone has heard the classic phrase that men are polygamous, but women prefer monogamy because it is supposedly determined by nature. A man’s task is to carry his gene pool en masse and provide as many offspring as possible, even if from different partners. But women are not interested in casual relationships at all – they have to take care of babies. However, recent research examining polygamy refutes this theory.
Women are traditionally considered monogamous guardians of the hearth, since ancient times they simply had to be faithful to their partner, sit by the window and wait for him, no matter what. But are women really monogamous?
Female monogamy is not determined by nature. It is simply the woman’s own choice, often made voluntarily, but even more often it is a decision based on social pressure and rules.
The first counterargument of this myth is very simple – if each woman is limited to one man, then where do polygamous men find their partners? Also, not all cultures have female monogamy as the norm.
The second counter-argument has a scientific explanation: animal observations show that females do not crave fidelity as much. It turns out that even in species that supposedly form stable couples, female infidelity is quite common. Incidentally, the sentimentally sung loyalty of swans is nothing more than a romantic myth. Almost every second chick of these birds is from another male. Another example is a species of seal. They form harems, in which the males go to great lengths to protect their ladies and keep rivals away from them. But this does not help much – in such “families” a little more than 20% of pups are born from the “official” father.
Of course, people are neither seals nor swans, but psychologists have noticed: if loved ones start to wonder what a newly born child looks like, then for some reason everyone rushes to convince the father that the baby is his copy.
In addition, relatives on the mother’s side are twice as likely to talk about similarities with the father than with the mother. And the woman herself, as a rule, unconsciously in most cases tries to convince her husband that the baby is his. Meanwhile, in the eyes of a stranger, all newborns look approximately the same – after all, the characteristic facial features are formed later. According to psychologists, this behavior simply connects us with animals – it is important for mothers to prevent the father’s aggression towards the baby. So the head of the family must be absolutely sure that this is his offspring.
Yes, there have always been women who followed their desires and passions, ignoring societal pressures and many condemnations. But earlier it was more like a rare exception.
Now times have changed drastically, the world is changing rapidly. Even in the middle of the last century, the advent of contraception gave every woman freedom from the inevitable consequences of sexual intercourse – pregnancy. Now the woman chooses her own partner. She listens to her feelings.
However, a very important nuance should be noted. Women choose polygamy usually when they don’t have a permanent partner, for example, when they are young, after a divorce, etc. Such a relationship has its pros and cons. For example, the advantage is that in a free relationship a woman can look at other men, and they can look at other women.
The plus is that you don’t have to maintain “decent relations” with the man’s loved ones, but the minus is that the woman becomes “dirty” when she appears in public with the first, second, third, fourth…
Thus, female popligamy in the literal sense of the word usually occurs only at certain periods of a woman’s life and not very often. And here our natural spiritual qualities play a huge role. A woman is characterized by a strong emotional attachment to her sexual partner. And only a small number of women can distinguish bed from emotions, physical satisfaction from moral satisfaction and ‘simply sex’ from ‘sex because they are in love’. You are probably familiar with the situation when women who have argued with their partner refuse to have stormy reconciliation sex, because the resentment has not yet ended and the anger has not yet calmed down.
Meanwhile, men turn the page and start the evening with a whole new attitude. That’s why men are more likely than women to believe that there is nothing better than sex. And few people are able to completely separate sex and relationships, sex and emotions, sexual satisfaction and emotional satisfaction, so free relationships based on physiological impulses are somewhat rarer for women than for men.
However, why are more and more women choosing polygamy?
Lin (45 years old) says that she previously had several sex partners at the same time since the age of 18. At one time she even dated 5 guys. “It used to be easier to get to know each other, but now it seems like there are different apps and it’s hard for people to get to know each other,” says the woman. Lin says that with some men the connection broke off very quickly, with others it turned into affection. When she was 39 years old, she fell in love – completely unexpectedly, unplanned. Since then, Lin has been faithful to her husband.
But Greta (52 years old) and her husband decided to meet another couple and try to become swingers. However, after the first attempt, she realized that openly having sex with someone else and at the same time seeing her husband making love to someone else “wasn’t the best”. This attempt would have been just an attempt if Greta had not accidentally met a man with whom she was “swinging” two years later. That day they went on a date to have lunch together, and in the evening they were already in the same bed. Since then, Greta has been in a relationship with three men: her official husband, a “swinger” and another man with whom she has had sex for ten years.
Sandra (32) was at a salsa dance event when she saw her married friend intently talking to a man she didn’t know. “And then they kissed,” recalls Sandra. She knew that her friend’s husband was sitting in front of her and could see everything. Sandra was surprised, but after talking with her friend, she was stunned. Her friend believed that multiple partners were a completely natural thing. That evening, Sandra returned home and told her husband what had happened. “He said it sounds great,” she said. After the two read about polygamy online, the couple realized that many people were in open relationships, so they decided to do the same.
Shortly after that, Sandra met a slightly younger guy, she is still dating him, and recently she met another young man. Does the husband know about it, history is silent.