“After all these years together, he still doesn’t know where my clit is,” Bridget Jones’ mother revealed before divorcing her father. I agree, this could really be a valid reason for divorce. But to save your nerves, let’s look at the process called fingering. By the way, fingering is the easiest way for a woman to reach orgasm.
In some parts of the world, medical terms are used to define this process, calling it “masturbation”. However, in Europe and America, a very spicy word is used – “fingering”, from the word “finger”.
For process to be a success, your partner will need to be trained. And, of course, he must be ready not only morally, but also physically – the first times may require quite a lot of time and patience, but believe me, it’s worth it! So, to make the process easier, let’s describe it step by step.
Fingers must be clean!
Clean, sterile hands! We are not exaggerating! Keep your nails short. First of all, various microbes accumulate under the nails, which can enter a woman’s genitals. Second, you can accidentally scratch her, creating the perfect environment for an infection.
A glass of water on the bedside table
Sexologists recommend drinking a liter of water immediately after fingering, as bacteria can enter the urinary tract during this time. You can also simply wash the intimate parts with water. If you have completed the first two points, fingering should be a safe pleasure.
Water-based lubricants
Of course, you can do without it, if normal lovemaking without lubricant does not cause you difficulties. When should you start thinking about using lube? When you’re both sleeping and moaning after sex – he’s in pleasure and you’re in excruciating pain.
Why choose fingering instead of sex?
- When you don’t have the strength to make energetic body movements after work, but you want love, you can give each other pleasure with your hands.
- If you have a higher libido than your partner.
- When you both really want sex, but there are no condoms in sight.
- When you just want variety.
The nature and the body
Clitoris are different – that’s a fact. For some, it is very sensitive, so sometimes when you touch it, you feel pain instead of excitement. Others, on the contrary, have little sensitivity, and the clitoris does not respond to touch at all.
If the clitoris is too sensitive, ask your lover to be careful: he can touch the labia with two fingers, without pressing the fingers, but turning them with light movements clockwise or counterclockwise, depending on what you want. If even such indirect stimulation causes discomfort, the labia can be pinched with two fingers (thumb and index finger) where they cover the clitoris. Once the clitoris becomes excited (thus less sensitive to pain), direct stimulation can begin.
But what if a woman’s clitoris is not very sensitive?
First, you can use a warming or cooling lubricant to stimulate more different sensations.
Second, approach this pleasure point from both sides: with the index finger and middle finger of the left hand, penetrate and stimulate the G-spot, and with the index finger of the right hand, make circular movements around the head of the clitoris. If you do it skillfully enough, the orgasm will be extremely strong.
Now that you have learned the theory and are morally prepared, you can move on to the most important thing:
The main fingering methods
- Massage. During the massage, the lubricant is gently rubbed into the labia, first with the thumb, then with the other fingers, gradually approaching the clitoris, but not touching it.
- Penetration. The index finger and middle finger of the right hand touch the G-spot, the thumb massages the clitoris. You should try to connect all three fingers in a ring while simultaneously squeezing the sensitive G-spot. (Mysterious G-Spot – What is it and where is it located?)
- Another point of pleasure. Stimulate her clit with your ring and middle finger and her anus with your thumb.
- Massage her vagina with your fingertips, as if emphasizing its contours. Achieving an orgasm in this way is unlikely, but this method is exactly what is needed at the beginning of the process or in between.
- Inside and out. Stimulate the G-spot with two fingers of the right hand, and gently press on her lower abdomen with the palm of the left hand.
What is she doing in the meantime?
While your partner is trying to please you, don’t sleep. Stimulate his genitals, but don’t just hold it in your fist – apparently it’s very effective, but it’s been tried hundreds of times, so it’s no longer interesting. So, your task is not only to give him an orgasm, but also to give new sensations.
- Grasp his penis with three fingers as if you were holding a pen. Move them up and down. The movements with the fingers will be much longer than with the fist.
- Use both hands. Two fists are more interesting than one. Lubricate your palms and place one hand on the head of his penis. Move the other fist from top to bottom and, touching the pubic bone, perform the same movement with the other hand. When your hand makes contact with the first fist, move it again to the upper part. This creates a chain of continuous movement and not up-down, but always only down. This way he will be able to balance on the edge of orgasm for the longest time.
- Grab his cock with your left hand and move it up and down. With the index finger of the right hand, gently draw a circle around the head of his penis.
- Lubricate the center of your palm. Firmly squeeze his genitals with the other hand and with the middle of the palm of the lubricated hand stimulate the head of the penis in a circular motion.