“My boyfriend doesn’t want to use a condom: what should I do?” We hear this question more often than we would like. Condom use is still a topic of much debate and concern. Although safe sex practices are widely recognized and talked about, there is a “special” group of men who deliberately choose not to use condoms.
In this article, we will discuss the reasons for their choice and suggest what to do if your partner does not want to use contraceptives during sex.
Why is it so important to use condoms?
Condoms are a contraceptive that protects not only against unplanned pregnancy, but also against sexually transmitted infections. We mean not only HIV and AIDS, but also gonorrhea and chlamydia, which more and more people are suffering from recently.
The danger is also that some of these infections have no symptoms, so it is no longer clear whether one of the partners has something or not. For example, chlamydia practically does not show any symptoms. Women usually find out about it only when other health problems are checked. It is important to mention that it is currently one of the leading causes of infertility in the UK. Chlamydia is spread very easily – through sexual intercourse without a condom, when the partners don’t know that they are sick.
Reasons why the partner refuses to use a condom
Of course, each person comes up with different reasons for engaging in unsafe sex, but there are a few that recur:
- Many, especially men, still believe that using condoms during sex reduces sensitivity and pleasure.
- Some men are simply careless and think that pulling out in time will save them from an unplanned pregnancy. Read more: Is pull-out method a safe way of contraception?
- Your partner doesn’t like having to stop in the middle of the act to look for a condom. Many say it “kills” the passion.
- Using condoms is seen as shameful, not “cool”.
- You use birth control pills. Research shows that men don’t feel the need to use a condom if their sexual partner is on the pill. Since there is no more risk of unplanned pregnancy, men also forget about sexually transmitted infections.
What if a guy doesn’t want to use a condom?
Here are some tips on what to do if your partner refuses to use a condom during sex.
Refuse to make love
As simple as two times two. It’s definitely not cool to feel pressured by your partner to engage in unsafe sex and risk getting pregnant or contracting an STD.
If a guy says he doesn’t need condoms because he knows what he’s doing, I can say almost 100 percent that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He does not think about the health of his partner, does not take any responsibility for it. Ultimately, you have the right to make decisions that protect your health and well-being. If your partner refuses to take care of you, maybe it’s time to think about the usefulness of this relationship.
Find ways to improve the condom experience
Another good way to deal with this problem is to talk about it directly. Ask your partner why he doesn’t want to use condoms. Is he uncomfortable? Or maybe it’s sliding off? Pressure maybe? Doesn’t that make sex better?
We remind you that condoms come in all different sizes, textures and thicknesses, so the choice is really wide! If you don’t like one, you can always try the others. We invite you to try slightly more expensive condoms – they are usually of better quality and designed for greater pleasure.
Honestly, say that sex without a condom causes you stress
Tell your partner that sex without a condom causes you stress and makes it difficult to enjoy sex. You can say something like this: “If we don’t use a condom, I’ll just feel stressed and won’t be able to focus on what we’re doing, I won’t be able to relax, feel pleasure, etc.”
Explain to your partner why condom use is important to you. Talk about the possible risks of unsafe sex, such as unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Make sure he understands your concerns.
Also discuss mutual responsibility: emphasize that sexual health is a shared responsibility of both partners. Condoms not only protect you, but also your partner from possible dangers. Discuss mutually acceptable methods of contraception and STI prevention, such as testing for sexually transmitted diseases.
Consider using female condoms
If you can’t agree on using regular condoms, you can try female condoms, which are inserted into the vagina before intercourse and perform the same function as regular condoms. Perhaps this option will be more acceptable to both.
And finally…
The benefits of condoms are not limited to preventing sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancy. It’s about fostering open communication, trust, and shared responsibility in intimate relationships.
Choosing to use condoms means trusting each other. This allows you to show that partners care about each other’s well-being: physical health and emotional state. So be open with each other and talk openly about it.