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  • The Dry Spell: Tips to Help You When You Feel Like Your Sex Life is Cooling Off

    The Dry Spell: Tips to Help You When You Feel Like Your Sex Life is Cooling Off

    Stagnation can affect all areas, and sex life is no exception. The intimacy of countless couples experiences a routine. Unfortunately, the thought that this is normal is of little comfort when you get into this rut or when the relationship has gone through a so-called dry spell.

    “Routine is the deadliest enemy of passion,” says Alison Moon, author of “Girl Sex 101”. “The better we know the other person, the less passion remains in the relationship.”

    Here are some tips from healthline.com that are sure to come in handy if you feel like your sex life is cooling off.

    Try new ways to release energy

    “Go for a run or do yoga,” suggests Moon. “When you strengthen your connection with your body, you will be able to strengthen your connection with your partner’s body as well.”

    A survey found that people who are in a relationship but are sexually passive are prone to sadness and consider themselves unattractive. Regain your sexual appetite by finding new ways to move and love your body.

    PHOTO: Shutterstock

    Fill your dopamine with new experiences

    “New, engaging activities can enhance feelings of closeness and intimacy. Come up with something unconventional, unusual for you. Activities that are a little scary, such as going to an amusement park or visiting an escape room, could also be suitable, says sexologist Sunny Megatron. “Dopamine will be produced in the body, and you will be surrounded by the same feelings that you experienced during the most passionate phase of the relationship.”

    According to experts, dopamine and other brain chemicals are directly related to physical attraction and romantic feelings. Therefore, engaging in a new activity together can reignite a pent-up passion.

    Escape to another reality for a while

    “Organize role plays. Invent characters for yourself, create stories for them, dress accordingly and get into the roles,” advises S. Megatron. (Want to try role-playing? Tips and ideas)

    If you are not attracted to role-playing, a trip together can also give you different feelings. According to data published by the US Travel Association, even couples who simply travel together have richer and more passionate sex lives.

    An erotic movie

    “Try to understand as much as possible what turns you and your partner on,” advises A. Moon. “Certain pornography even has a very positive effect on couples.” Everything can be found on the Internet.

    PHOTO: Shutterstock

    Pleasure yourself in front of your partner

    “Watching you masturbate will allow your partner to see you enjoy yourself, and it’s a very intimate sight,” says Moon.

    Letting your partner see what caresses you like will take intimacy to a more exciting level. Masturbation in general improves well-being, elevates mood, helps reduce stress and increases sexual passion.

    “Get a remote-controlled vibrator and use it on a date. Give your partner the remote control and start the foreplay early. By the time you get home, your libido will probably be pretty high,” advises Megatron.

    Conversations, conversations…

    Ineffective communication can also reduce interest in sex. According to The Guardian, even couples who argue often are 10 times happier than those who avoid conflict.

    “Don’t be afraid of serious conversations,” urges A. Moon. “Intimate feelings can sometimes be evoked simply by talking about a subject you normally avoid.”

    If neither of you is ready to change, think about your own needs

    A dry spell often comes from stress and endless worries. Fortunately, there are usually ways to wake up from it.

    “Sometimes something very simple can help you get back on track. The problem is that many people do absolutely nothing because of fear or shyness,” says S. Megatron.

  • Married life without sex: 3 main reasons why it happens

    Married life without sex: 3 main reasons why it happens

    Married life without sex is quite common. For what reasons does sexual intercourse become less frequent or disappear altogether?

    The belief that sexual desire should arise spontaneously

    The phrase “Honey, why don’t we make love?” cuts a woman’s libido like a knife. Since the time of Z. Freud, there is an opinion that there is only one type of sexual desire – spontaneous. A person realizes that they want to have sex, and from this thought alone they are ready to go to bed in an instant. It’s just that the reality is that this is usually attributed to men. Women, hearing such a phrase from a man, usually freeze. They start to blame themselves and fear that there is something wrong with them, because they cannot “get it going” even though they love their partner.

    Women’s libidos are different. Emotional, psychological, energetic and physical stimulation is important for them.

    However, often the couple’s expressions of tenderness are limited to a short foreplay that helps the woman to turn on… just a little. Lust must be awakened, not demanded to be ignited with one blow of the pin.

    Women who do not understand the mechanism of sexual desire think that a little pleasant excitement is enough to start them having sex. They have no idea that it is possible to achieve complete arousal and that then sex will bring satisfaction and pleasure, and true intimacy will be born between partners. When women understand how to achieve maximum arousal and deep sexual satisfaction, their libido becomes more spontaneous.

    Efforts to experience orgasm

    At the beginning of a relationship, sex is passionate because we are open and curious. But with time, partners stop studying each other: we start to think that we already know each other well enough and know what makes the other happy. It kills passion, especially in women. During intercourse, the feeling of unity disappears and only the final goal remains – to achieve orgasm. By reviving curiosity and pleasurable excitement, it is possible to make the relationship passionate again.

    Lack of emotional intimacy

    Family life without sex is not only about lack of intimacy in the relationship. Your sex life can suffer if emotional intimacy is also lacking. If you feel emotionally detached from your partner, it can be difficult to connect or enjoy sex. This is not just for women; men also crave emotional intimacy.

    Spending quality time together can help build emotional intimacy and eventually restore physical intimacy as well. It is important for couples to understand why sex is important and that sex and intimacy can be used as the glue to keep a loving bond together.

  • Anonymous story: “I am 28 and a virgin”

    Anonymous story: “I am 28 and a virgin”

    Hello! I want an advice – I have put myself into such a stupid situation that I no longer know how to get out of it. It may be hard to believe, but I am 28 years old and I am still “a virgin”. No, I haven’t lived under a stone all these years, I don’t belong to any religious sect, and apart from that fact, it would be hard find anything that makes me weird. ”

    Lots of success in life

    “According to public standards I am even too normal. I studied very well at school, I also graduated from musical school, I passed all the exams with high grades, my parents never had any problems with me. Later I entered university, and studied specialty I have been dreaming of since high school. Studies were difficult so I learnd practically nonstop. I finished both a bachelor’s and a master’s degree.

    Now I already have a stable and successful career. There seems to be nothing missing in my life, I am an independent girl and I stand firmly on my feet. ”

    Self-realization was more important than parties

    “However, I do not understand how I haven’t been able to establish a romantic relationship so far. My sexual experience is completely zero. While all my friends were raging of hormones in the last few years of school, I was preparing for exams and it seemed like I just didn’t have time for the boys.

    Later in the first year of college, I heard countless stories of endless parties and project work that had been written the night before, but I was too focused on my success, not allowing myself to relax. ”

    Only a few close friends know

    “You would probably think that I am ugly or uncommunicable, but I valued myself quite highly. I have some close friends and only they know my “secret”. I reassured myself for up to 24 years that I don’t have to hurry just because “everyone does so.”

    Later, I was just ashamed of this fact. As soon as I had a warmer relationship with a guy I liked, I went on a couple of dates and flirted. But when it came to intimate relationships, I lied and acted as if I had experienced sex. In fact, I was scared and ashamed of myself. I haven’t gone beyond kisses and caresses yet. ”

    The guy I like doesn’t even know about it

    “But recently I met a very nice guy. We immediately felt some strange connection. We talked completely freely on the first date, it seemed that we had known each other for a long time. The biggest trouble is that without thinking I lied that I lost my virginity at the age of 18 (I know, stupid).

    We have met 3 times – I think the further it leads, the less chance there is to escape the confrontation. I can choose the usual scenario – to end the relationship out of the blue, but I am tired of lying to myself and others. I feel that everything is different with him than with previous guys – he attracts me a lot, we have similar values ​​in life, our characters are the same.

    I would like to know how to move things forward? I am ashamed to lie to him. I am afraid that even if I dare to tell the truth, he will leave me. Maybe I should just try to pretend that I have had sex in my life? I have no idea what to do. I really need advice. Thank you! ”

    You have to be open about it

    Firstly, it is important to emphasize that there is nothing abnormal if a 28-year-old still has not ‘lost her virginity‘.

    Rachel Keller, an American psychotherapist, explains that the stigmatization of virginity is very common in our society – people are ashamed of it and very often lie about it like the author of the letter. Prolonged feelings of shame can damage an individual’s psychological state, creating a misconception about relationships and sex life.

    In this case, therapy can help to find out why a person is having difficulty making intimate physical contact with another person.

    Openness to the guy is especially important in this situation – it will help the author to get rid of the long-standing shame and will be the first step in recognizing that she is worthy of love, regardless of whether she has had sex.