How to distinguish healthy relationships from those without a future? They can be described in different ways – addictive, toxic, neurotic. The most important feature of such a relationship is that it does not bring true happiness, but is only a substitute for it. Total is, people do not feel good, but the thought of divorce them is even more painful, writes Elle.ru . By the way, from the outside this relationship may seem completely normal, but psychologists point to some signs when such a relationship should end as soon as possible. Let’s look at the signs that you are in a toxic relationship.
There is no feeling of joy and happiness
At the beginning of a relationship, of course, there is joy, but this stage is not long. Disturbing signs appear quite quickly – at first they can be innocent jokes that annoy you, and finally you can feel trapped. This relationship not only does not develop your potential, but also humiliates you. You can’t get rid of the feeling that you have been deprived of the freedom to do what you want.
If such a relationship is prolonged, sooner or later there will be a feeling of emptiness, fatigue and depression. The paradox is that the longer the relationship, the harder it is to end, because there is not enough willpower to make a decisive decision.
All attempts to explain the relationship are unconstructive
You are frustrated by the fact that the relationship is not going the way you would like. Attempts to talk about it are in vain, because your words are stuck like an abyss. The search for who is right and who is not leads nowhere. On the contrary, during this process, everything turns upside down, deviates from the problem and eventually you feel guilty.
Are you familiar with this condition? The manipulative behavior of the partner has simply crossed all boundaries. Instead of a heartfelt conversation, you have to put up with a headache and you already regret that you started talking at all.
Your achievements are critically evaluated
In a normal relationship, the partners are happy with each other’s achievements. If the opposite happens, it indicates an unhealthy relationship. Psychologists explain this phenomenon with a desire to control. In addition, when questioning a partner’s potential, an attempt is made to increase one’s self-esteem. It is not difficult to understand that such manipulations lead to a stalemate, not to mention that the victim’s self-confidence is undermined.
Frequent mood swings
Mood swings – from hectic fun to dramatic hysteria, from demonstrative, overly loving and caring to anger, rage or demonstrative indifference – show that there is no harmony in the relationship. You can never be sure what to expect from a partner? If you live like a powder keg – you’re on the road to neurosis.
Refuses to talk, ignores
Everyone in a relationship has the right to receive feedback. If the partner refuses to give it, he uses one of the most brutal manipulations, which is particularly popular with sociopaths, ie people with whom a healthy relationship is simply not possible. Refusing to say the reason for not having a healthy conversation, long pauses between conversations, ignoring calls, not talking – all this is done deliberately to annoy each other and drive them crazy. Flee until it’s too late!
Willingness to control
Your partner knows all your plans in a timely manner, knows where you are and who you are meeting, who you are calling and who is calling you. This is usually the first step in imposing your opinion. As soon as you are no longer able to defend your boundaries, when you begin to be asked to justify your thoughts, decisions and actions, your life will never be the same again.
The human body is very intelligent and always reacts to what is going on around it. Unhealthy relationships are always accompanied by psychosomatic illnesses.
Regret and jealousy
Distrust is always a sign that the system is not working. If your partner makes you feel guilty about enjoying life on your own and, God forbid, with another person, it indicates that you are not in a healthy relationship.
“Your partner already knows all your plans in time, is informed where you are and who you are meeting, who you are calling and who is calling you”
To attract the partner’s attention, the other resort to emotional blackmail, which aims to create guilt for the other half. Eventually, you (or your partner, depending on who is on that side) begin to feel jealous of his friends, relatives, and in general, the desire to become the center of his universe. The relationship can, of course, continue – you are already in a toxic, addictive relationship – but it will never be a real pleasure.
Pity for yourself
You have not even noticed how your whole life has become an endless torment, how difficult it is for you, how invaluable you are, and so on. You see everything through a negative prism, everything is bad for you. You clearly understand that your partner does not want to spend all his free time with you, you do not receive as much attention from each other as you expected, but instead of ending this relationship, you continue to complain to your friends.
Depression has already become the norm for you, as if you were constantly waiting for the next dispute, conflict or misfortune. It may not be necessary to explain that this relationship is slowly being destroyed from within.
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