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Valentine’s Day nightmares: a broken nose, in bed with the mother-in-law and a bouquet of black roses

Valentine’s Day. Some hate it, some adore it, and others stay neutral (I’m included in this category). In any case, it is impossible to forget or overlook this day.

Everyone probably knows the story of the origin of Valentine’s Day. The Roman Emperor Claudius II, in order to raise as large an army as possible, issued an edict forbidding marriage. He wanted as many men as possible to rush to defend the empire instead of having fun with their wives and raising the fruits of love. Such an order made more than one love seeker cry. Overwhelmed by floods of tears and pleas for help, the Bishop of Rome, Valentine, secretly began marrying couples. When the emperor found out about this, he ordered the bishop to be arrested and executed on February 14th. After some time, Valentine was declared a saint, and the day of his death became the most famous lover’s day in the world.

This story is very beautiful, but my inner skeptic still mutters that it is more of a marketing effect. However, whatever the truth may be, I know from experience and stories that sometimes the long-awaited Day of Love turns into Day of Nightmare, and although the face is covered with hearts, the real hearts are broken. Here are the stories that prove it.

Valentine’s Day Karma

“Valentine’s Day was extremely important to me during school. We painted hearts on our friends’ faces and wrote secret greeting cards. But when I grew up, somehow it didn’t seem important anymore, maybe because I’m not much of a romantic. But I will always remember one Valentine’s Day because it makes me laugh, and it must have been very unpleasant for the guy at the time. If I remember correctly, we had an argument that very morning and the guy felt very guilty. So I come home and the whole hallway to the living room is full of candles, petals, and I was greeted in the living room by a big heart of candles and petals with a bunch of roses in the middle. And my first reaction was…laughter. Later, I felt a little uncomfortable that I reacted that way, because I am not a heartless person, but then I told him that he would have to clean up himself. It was so corny and I only kept the bouquet. Maybe karma, maybe not, but later, when another person appeared in my life, I symbolically brought home champagne and cake, which I ate and drank alone while my “beloved” played video games all night.” – Mady

The unworn black dress

“I dated a guy for a few months. Somehow we had a good time together, but we hadn’t touched on the conversation about who we are – an official couple or not. One day he asked me if I wanted to go with him to a very popular restaurant this Friday. It was also Valentine’s Day, but somehow he didn’t mention that. A few days before, I already started preparing: what I will wear, how I will do my hair and make-up, etc. I was nervous because I thought this was going to be the night he made us officially a couple, so I wanted to look great. That day I put on a tight black dress, put on high heels, painted red lips and looked like I was from the cover of a magazine. I arrived at the restaurant… 45 minutes – that’s how long I sat alone at the table and waited for him. Even with my eyes closed, I could feel the sad eyes of other people looking at me… Finally he came to the restaurant. No flowers, no gifts, and not even a normal explanation for the delay. He just repeated that he didn’t know it was Valentine’s Day. My mood was already ruined, but I naively hoped that at least the wine and the delicious food would improve it. We ordered a bottle, dinner, and while we were waiting he said, “You know, you’re so great, just amazing, and I’m not the best version of myself, and I realized that I don’t want to commit right now…” – Grace

From a dream to a nightmare

“Even though I’m 30 years old, I’ve hated Valentine’s Day since I was a teenager. I was 13 years old to be exact. As is probably popular in every school, every year on Valentine’s Day we sent each other cards, drawings and stuck hearts on our faces. And that day, I received a letter that I dreamed about all seventh grade. A letter from my great love at the time, in which he offered me to be his girlfriend. I remember thinking at the time that my heart was going to explode from the emotional overload, and my knees were giving out every few seconds, so I couldn’t walk normally. I was so happy. I wrote to him that I agreed. Then a few more, in which I professed my love for him with colorful and shiny pens. Later I sent a few more, which I covered with hearts and all kinds of cute stickers. And finally, after six classes and the day of the Valentine’s Day event was drawing to a close, he and a few other boys from his class came up to me and told me that it was all a joke because they were just interested in how I would react. After that, I hated my life for a long time, tried my best to avoid going to school, and even though my heart has healed, I still hate Valentine’s Day.” – Laura

A bouquet of black roses

“I dated an artist for some time. I was ‘”miss correct”, so we were quite an interesting couple, but as they say, opposites attract. On Valentine’s morning, the doorbell rang. And there he was. He handed me a bouquet of BLACK AND WITHERED roses and said, “These roses, like our relationship, are dead.” He was the first and last artist in my life.” – Iris

In bed with mother-in-law

“We were friends for almost a year. His dad liked me, but his mom just hated me. I’m not exaggerating. She thought I was too poor for her beloved son. But because I really loved my boyfriend at the time, I tried my best to swallow this bitterness.

So on the evening of Valentine’s Day (which was our first Valentine’s Day), we went to a restaurant. While driving, his mother called him (by the way, they talked on the phone at least three times a day). After the phone call, my boyfriend turned back because after talking to his mom, he realized that his parents didn’t have any plans today, so they were going to take us to a restaurant. I got very angry, couldn’t stand it, started screaming and asked if he would invite his mom to bed with us too? He replied that yes, maybe he would. I promised myself never to be in a relationship with a guy and his mother again.” – Emily

My Valentine is a killer

“I met a very nice guy. And although we only dated for a few weeks, on Valentine’s Day he decided to surprise me and pick me up from work. A large bouquet of flowers and a large box of so-called “exclusive” chocolates were waiting for me in his car. I double checked if any of the candies were nut free as I am CRAZY allergic to them. He assured me that they are good. After only ten minutes I started to get red, swollen and at the same time started to suffocate. My eyes were so red and watery that I could hardly see anything. As you understand, after this surprise, we did not go back to his house to spend time in an intimate atmosphere. Went to the hospital, where I had to spend two days because of a very strong allergic reaction. By the way, we are still together. Not only together, but also engaged. I just don’t forget to remind him from time to time that he tried to kill me once.” – Eve

My brown Valentine

“My boyfriend and I have always been fans of experiments, so one Valentine’s Day we agreed to celebrate it ‘anally’. We hadn’t tried it before and Valentine’s Day was the perfect opportunity for the gnome to visit the brown cave. As soon as we started implementing our big plan, we realized that we didn’t understand anything and we weren’t even ready for it. Turns out we needed lube, which we didn’t have, so we filled a water bottle and started spraying water around and inside. Anyone who’s tried it knows that water is different from lube, so after a long sprinkling of water on the bed, we were just tired of trying (and I was sore too), sitting on a wet bed like a swamp with absolutely no desire to try anything else. In the end, we decided to order Mexican food and celebrate Valentine’s Day like normal people, but fate was not in our favor that day – we both had diarrhea from the tacos we ate… Shitty day, both literally and figuratively.” – Gabriela

Naked divorce

“I met a guy I really liked. He told me not to plan anything on Valentine’s Day because he already knows what we’re going to do. I knew he was very interested in astronomy, but I was still surprised that he had planned a date to the planetarium just for the two of us. We listened to a lecture, looked at the planets, and after all that, I suggested that he come to my place, because I live very close. My jeans and sweater were quickly replaced with sexy red underwear. Then he took off all his clothes, stood by the bed in front of me and said he didn’t want to see me anymore. Yes, he broke up with me while we were naked facing each other. My romantic mood changed with shock and I asked him why we celebrated this Valentine’s Day and had such a romantic time and he said that I had never had a fun Valentine’s Day before and he wanted to give me one… WOW, thank you.” – Una

Tinder, toilet and cocaine

“I met this girl on Tinder just a few weeks before Valentine’s Day. We went on two dates and everything was fine, so I thought I’d ask her out for Valentine’s Day. We had a nice dinner, then decided to go to a bar. It felt like we had so many topics to talk about because we basically didn’t know each other well yet, but she kept going and going to the bathroom. Every 15 minutes. One of the times I got really confused because it took more than ten minutes so I thought something had happened to her. Maybe her health failed, maybe she passed out… The toilet was unisex. The first thing I heard was some strange noises, so without saying anything I started banging on the door louder and louder until a guy opened it. Behind him was “my girlfriend” and a bag of white powder. I turned around, went back to the bar, told the bartender that the girl would pay for our table, and left.” – Lukas

A gift from a heart

“My boyfriend gave me a gift bag on Valentine’s Day that contained a new blouse. Everything would be fine, if I hadn’t bought that blouse myself and accidentally left it at his house a few days ago.” – Dana

Oral and broken nose

“We were young students. The Internet already existed, but there was still a lack of information about sex. Of course we had heard about oral sex and what it was, but we had never tried it. I decided that oral would be a good Valentine’s Day gift for my boyfriend, but first I asked my friends for advice. “Imagine that you are licking an ice cream”; “Don’t forget to play with his balls”; “Be gentle, but don’t forget some rough touches with your teeth”; “Men really like to wake up from oral” – I liked the last tip the most, so I decided to implement it by adapting the rest of the tips. The night before Valentine’s Day. I was stressed, waiting for him to fall asleep so I could wake him up nicely. Finally he falls asleep, starts snoring, and I lift the blanket and go “downstairs”. I take his cock in my hands. It gets hard. I put it in my mouth. I start to suck and I feel that with every second it gets harder and harder… Suddenly my lover starts twitching, his body shakes and I feel a blow on my face and then great pain. My lover lights a lamp and screams because I am covered in blood… In fright, he hit me so hard that he broke my nose. So, in honor of Valentine’s Day, we go to the hospital, there we diligently explain that it was not domestic violence and that there was a misunderstanding (we try not to delve into it), finally all the blood, which has already dried, is wiped from my face, the nose is fixed, and at dawn we go to the gas station for hot dogs. He was kind of starving from the stress. In the car, I still listened to the moral that I shouldn’t behave like that, I promised not to listen to my friends anymore and forget all erotic surprises in the future. I swear my nose looks bigger than it was after that incident and every time I take a long look in the mirror I remember that night.” – Lidia

You are not a good guy

“I took my girlfriend to her favorite restaurant/bar on Valentine’s Day. Everything was going great until we saw her best friend walk into the bar. She was sad. Turns out it was supposed to be her first date with a guy, but he just didn’t show up. I invited her to join us because she is a good friend of my girlfriend. She sat down at our table and after an hour she was completely drunk. Another half hour and we decided to go home, I paid the bill, said goodbye to our drunk friend and then it started. Total drama. My girlfriend made a scene in the middle of the street while waiting for a taxi because I was so friendly with her friend and even paid for her drinks. I wanted to be the good guy, but it turned out to be a stupid decision and it was another sexless Valentine’s Day night.” – Tom

No comment…

“Last Valentine’s Day, my husband (of eleven years) admitted that he doesn’t love me and never has. It was the day we started the divorce process and he recently proposed to my colleague. ”- Victoria

Freak

“On the way to the restaurant, my friend kept complaining that on his way to meet me he tripped, dropped his phone and broke his phone screen. The phone was in his hand when he spoke. I looked and saw a picture on the screen. My photo. We had known each other for a week. This was our second date. And the last one.” – Aubrey

The unsinkable sh*t…

“Since I can speak anonymously and I haven’t lived in my country for some time, I will tell you about my scariest and most embarrassing experience. Long story short: I left a really nice guy because of an embarrassing situation.

We dated for a while. There were already kisses and caresses. In other words, we already knew each other well, but there was no sex yet. Valentine’s Day came, he invited me to his place. We made dinner, poured wine and both knew that today it would finally happen. Only I really needed to go to the toilet. I always try to wait until I return to my home or where I feel safe, but since I was planning to spend the night at his place, there was no other option. It just had to be done. I went to the toilet, finished my work, I pressed the button to flush the water, but nothing happened. IT keeps floating. I poured water from the sink into the toilet with my hands, but nothing changed. I understand that the situation is becoming suspicious, because I have been locked in there for about 15 minutes, so the tension was only growing. I looked through all the drawers, all the cabinets in the bathroom, finally I found a cup. I poured water from the sink into the cup, then into the toilet, but the result was the same. I received his SMS on my phone “wru”, I replied that I will be there soon, and I felt that sweat is already coming from my forehead. Finally, I remembered seeing a bag in one of the drawers and starting to implement a plan that suddenly appeared in my head… I put my hand in the bag, took the thing I did in the toilet and throw it out the bathroom window. I did this several times because the THING split into several parts. Finally, there were no traces of the THING in the toilet, I returned to him, told him that I have food poisoning, that’s why it took so long , and I’m going home. Later, I ignored him for a few days, finally with a broken heart I lied that I wasn’t ready for dating or a relationship because I couldn’t swallow the shame I experienced. And maybe karma is a bitch, but after all this time I haven’t fallen in love with anyone, and he’s happily engaged.” – Greta

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