When we want to get our ex back, sometimes we do things that not only don’t help, but push them away even more. Psychologists recommend being patient and letting the other person make their own decision: if you constantly remind them of yourself and try to prove how irreplaceable you are, the result will most likely be the opposite of what you want. So what mistakes should you avoid if you want to get your ex back?
Do not beg!
If you play the victim, you are likely to cause the other person irritation or (worse) just pity. Think about it – do you really want them to be with you just out of pity? Although this may seem like a good solution in a desperate situation, you will soon realize that it is not.
Asking them to come back can only make your ex more determined to go their separate ways.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep
Divorce is sometimes really shocking and it becomes difficult to imagine how you will have to live on. So that the other one does not leave, sometimes we reach for the last straw and promise something that we will not be able to fulfill later. Although a settlement may temporarily improve the relationship, after that things usually go back to normal and promises remain just promises.
Do not bombard them with calls and messages
Those who want to get their ex back are sometimes desperate for attention: constant calls, texts, emails, etc. Each person needs enough space and time, so constantly reminding yourself will definitely not achieve anything good.
Countless missed calls are not only annoying but also scary.
Do not try to cause jealousy
Sometimes we think that the lost love can be regained by making the other person feel jealous, but usually the opposite happens. If you post photos with your “new crush” on social media or mention your warm feelings for another person, you will certainly not win anything. On the contrary, your ex may believe that there is no way back, because a replacement has already been found. In addition, in many cases, trying to provoke jealousy looks very artificial or even funny, so you will not achieve anything with such behavior.
Do not show your sadness in public
If you constantly share your emotions, various sad phrases, etc. on social network accounts, this will not bring the desired results either. Such behavior usually leads to pity.
If your ex did get back after seeing your sad texts, it’s likely that they would do it out of pity, not because they really want to get back.
Don’t say things you’ll regret later
Yes, breakups hurt, and it’s not unusual to feel angry, but that doesn’t mean you have to say everything you think about the other person at that moment. Don’t say things you might later regret: If you get angry, there may be no going back. Do not insult him or his family in a moment of anger. If you end up hooking up later, your words can leave behind painful scars.
Do not involve other people
Sometimes we hope that if a close friend, mom, sister, brother, etc. talks to the ex, maybe it will change their mind and they will come back, but in reality, involving other people can only push your ex away even more.
Your relationship is a matter between the two of you, and no outsider’s opinion will help change the other’s decision.
No psychological manipulation!
Those who want to get their other half back quite often resort to psychological manipulations, which are usually ineffective and further alienate the ex-partner. For example, after the breakup people start telling others about how much they had to sacrifice for the other, what they had to endure so that only the partner would feel good, etc. It should not be forgotten that the relationship is between two people, and each of them voluntarily decides what they can do for the other. There can be no coercion in a relationship: if you really sacrifice for the other person, it is only because you want to. Remember: psychological manipulation will definitely not achieve the desired goal: most likely, after such actions, all bridges between you will be burned.