My husband is convinced that I do not need oral sex. How can I convince him otherwise?
I have been married to my husband for two years. Our sex life is quite healthy and normal, but oral sex is not reciprocal. When I try to talk to him about it, he replies that he has no problem doing it, he just doesn’t think it’s necessary. I feel rejected. Now, most of the effort is devoted to achieving his orgasm, and my satisfaction is not given so much attention. How do I talk to him about this so that he doesn’t start defending himself? I have never had an orgasm during vaginal sex and I enjoyed oral sex with previous partners.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly, a US-based psychotherapist specializing in sexual dysfunction, answers this question on The Guardian.
“Your husband needs to be informed about your special needs and about women’s sexual arousal and orgasm in general. You seem to have been very patient so far and have dealt with this situation, so it’s no surprise that he doesn’t see the need to change his sexual behavior. He may also be afraid that he will not know exactly what to do, so you need to help him – show very specifically what makes you happy. Try to express your desire to enjoy oral sex in an extremely seductive and playful way so that he realizes that his efforts will be rewarded. As soon as he realizes that your excitement makes him hot, he will feel more motivated to do the job. ”