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Current Events

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Why do women flirt with married men?

For some, a wedding ring on a ring finger acts as a stop sign, but for others, on the contrary, seducing a married man is a kind of challenge and a sophisticated game. Soulpost has interviewed women who have anonymously revealed why they have decided to marry married men.

“I enjoyed the sharp feelings during sex with a married man. He was 10 years older than me. I just liked the realization that what we were doing was wrong, and our connection would never “go on.”

“I met a guy for one night at a bar. The evening ended with us sleeping. I only found out that he was married the next morning when I saw a wallpaper on his phone showing him and his wife on their wedding day. I shouted at him, but he wasn’t particularly worried. Most likely, he has done so many times when his wife has left the city. I felt disgusted. “

“I let in a novel with my married neighbor and I didn’t feel guilty about it, because we were both equally guilty. In the end, we all divorced. ”

“A friend of mine challenged me to seduce her boss, who was very attractive but had been married for three years. At the work party, I took the first step. His wife was not there, so my hooks were swallowed. We slept that night, but then we never talked or met again. ”

“Strange, but I have never condemned sex with a married man, if he wanted to. I have never seduced anyone first. He is the one who is ready to ruin his marriage, not me. “

FREEDOM, PASSION AND ADRENALINE

Online Psychology Today explained that the relationship with a married man a woman can make it possible to breathe, creating conditional freedom. In addition, secret meetings can create exciting feelings. Sex can be delightful precisely because it is secret. For example, having sex in a married man’s marriage bed gives other women a special dose of adrenaline – sex is full of lust and passion. The need to keep the relationship a secret, to hide around undiscovered, to have fast and passionate sex in a hurry, can give a woman a huge excitement, compared to another timely date on a Friday night.

Some women may have decided to never trust men. Logically, if he has a wife at home and he cheats on me with me, I can be sure that at least I am not the one being cheated on. And sex is great because it’s something new, exciting, with no obligation, and so on.

There are also super-competitive women who perceive a married man as a difficult goal that creates a special passion. The sexier her competitor, the sexier she will be. For these women, the feeling of superiority has less to do with the man in question and how much he is coveted, and more with the fact that she is stronger and superior to the other woman.

And, of course, let’s not forget the carnal aspect. While it is forbidden, sparks fly. If he really leaves his wife or partner to form a new, lasting relationship, they are unlikely to succeed. If he dared to cheat on his wife, then what is the guarantee that it will not happen again. In addition, sex is fast becoming an everyday phenomenon, which no longer has its spark of anxiety.

06.04.2021.
Things that men like in every sex position

It is very likely that you have your favorite sex posture. Maybe it’s a riding position that makes you feel like a sexy, domineering goddess, but maybe it’s a doggy position where your partner can take the lead. Men have the same – here’s an insight into what men like in every sex pose.

1. Missionary posture: the moment he reaches his climax, he can hide his face in your neck, which seems sexy to you. At the same time, it seems very practical to him, because you do not have to look at the less beautiful face of his orgasm.

2. The woman at the top: she has the opportunity to get into your buttocks at any time, and she doesn’t have to work as hard as if she were at the helm all the time.

3. Stimulation by hand: he does this to excite you in time and he doesn’t have to concentrate for so long that he doesn’t reach orgasm prematurely before you reach it. If your loved one does not have very good endurance, try to “start” yourself in time.

4. ” Doggy style” or doggy pose: his ability to rejoice in himself as much as in you.

5. Equestrian posture: she has the opportunity to admire all your feminine splendor.

6. Reverse equestrian posture: the same pleasures as ” Doggy style ” – just without any effort. He has the opportunity to just sleep, enjoy and look at you. These are probably his three favorite activities.

7. 69: Ignoring all the obvious benefits of this posture, this is a great way to get great foreplay and awesome sex. You will be charged this way, no one is a loser.

8. Pleasure a woman: A great way for him to relax his member, especially if you need more time to reach the climax than him.

9. On the knees and sitting on top: Men admit that this posture is one of the best – he has the opportunity to grab your buttocks and at the same time enjoy the benefits of your breasts.

10. Standing sex: This pose is the only reason someone goes to the gym. This posture refutes the money and time invested.

06.01.2021.
What do 20, 35, 45… year old men want?

Where do men come from in a middle-aged crisis, and what do they really need? Let’s study the needs of men of different ages according to the principles of Maslow’s pyramid of needs. As we age, we change and our relationships with loved ones change. In fact, every man wants completely different things. Only one remains the same – all men want love.

20 years: “What a beauty! I want to get him and…. her girlfriend too! ”

When testosterone hormones flow almost from the ears, the young man takes care of one thing – suppresses his sexual appetite. Twenty years is a period when the oath of eternal trust evaporates very quickly. For guys, this is a time of shock, frustration, as well as a period of countless attempts to get to know a woman.

At this age, men see women as a textbook of geography: young women – unknown Central Asian countries, pristine beautiful forests, which are difficult to access. With a beautiful girl it is nice to appear in society, and she, most likely, is just beginning to gain experience in building relationships. It is with her that the risk of being compared to another is zero because she does not really know that it can be otherwise. However, when communicating with such beauties, the young person often burns, succumbs to melancholy, and understands that beauty is not the most important thing. Although to put up with it completely, do not want to. In such cases, of course, women control everything; in their hands is the most important thing that hot-blooded young people need – beauty and sex.

20-30 years: “Tell me about yourself or the period of real sex”

When the crazy hormone period ends, the idea that a woman without beauty also has a mind strengthens in a man’s mind. He is aware that a loved one can be a pleasant companion with a seductive look and life experience. Communication with a woman no longer develops according to the principle: “I am a beauty, and you do nothing”. Such a view is taken with contempt on the part of the beautiful sex because next to it we need not only a handsome man, but also an intelligent, faithful, and strong man. This moment of revaluation of life values (crisis) comes very painfully for some, along with fear and self-doubt. During this period, some become pronounced bachelors, others become adults and intelligent men.

Intimacy ceases to be an outstanding event, it becomes an act of mutual enjoyment. Casual sex no longer seems so exciting because of the need for psychological mood and emotional stimulation. Women also know some tricks and are aware of their sexuality, are able to formulate what is expected of a partner. Rarely is a woman so naive that she is unaware of men’s financial and time investment in building relationships. After all, the ambitions of both sexes grow along with the needs.

Why do men get married at this age? First, they are looking for stability and comfort. The main reason for marriage is always love and the desire to have a regular sexual partner. There is still so much to do: career development, financial improvement, and family support. It all takes a lot of time and effort to still look for overnight connections.

35-45 years: “Let’s try differently”

Unfortunately, most men admit that at this age home life remains boring, the wife loses the status of the most coveted woman in the world but becomes a close friend who will be with her forever. There is no need to fight or conquer anything anymore, so a man realizes his ambitions elsewhere.

At the same time, different thoughts arise in a man’s head – from breaking a relationship (at best, a voluntary choice) to various experiments in bed. But ideally – not in bed at all, because “sex in bed” becomes a process without shocks, the joy of fireworks, new feelings.

At this age, hormone levels go down irreversibly, and with it sexual desire. Women are usually expected to do a few things – more tolerance and less demanding.

45 – 55 years old: “Next time will be better, I promise”

The critical age when men look for new emotions to strengthen their social status, regardless of whether hormones continue to decline. At this point, they may have a well-founded concern about “masculinity” – the desire for sex is still there, but some effort is needed and they need to take more care of their health. The excuse that “age is just a number” loses its force because, after all, there are many factors that can negatively affect a man’s potency. In women, there is often a desire to see a best friend and ally, with the addition of intimacy. A man tries to become a person who already knows and understands everything: mood swings, frustration, humor, the desire to be alone and reflect on his success.

If a man decides to divorce at this age, he often realizes that this is the wrong decision, and he could return to his wife with a confession: I was wrong, I didn’t want to. But only a few take such a big step in despair because a quiet and peaceful life becomes a priority.

55 years and older: “Let’s do it the way you want”

Some men know how to carry their age with carefree ease until they realize the terrible reality – my 16 have long been behind the mountains and will never return. In front, you can see the path of the new decade, which is inhospitable and menacing. Now all the things you wanted so much – attention, care, romantic gestures, and a joint vacation – can surely be obtained. At this age, men begin to feel true happiness, about being able to bring joy to their wives. A kind of “atonement” for the sins of youth comes to the fore: for the pain inflicted, for jealousy, for betrayal. They seem to want to receive forgiveness of sins before they enter the men’s paradise. However, the fear of age is growing, and the eyes are looking for new and strong female bodies. God knows what they will do with these bodies, because years are no longer those like if we see an old man in a restaurant with a new model who looks like his daughter, then in this union everything is not so simple. One benefit is that such girls do not know how to curse with such terrible words: atherosclerosis or prostate because they are all unfamiliar with them.

05.28.2021.
It has been revealed that this is the most common problem we face in relationships

When a new relationship begins, we experience so much anxiety and lust. Newly in love people have sex several times a week, if not several times a day. But over time, things change. Sex is only a few times a week – or several months are spent without intimacy. One partner may still want to have sex several times a week, but the other may not find the idea too tempting. Many couples are surprised by the same problem in their relationship – the mismatch of sexual desire. In fact, different libido is the most common problem that couples turn to relationship therapists.

The problem arises when there is a difference between one person’s need for sex and a partner’s need for less sex. This is nothing new and is an extremely common problem, says sex and relationship psychotherapist Miranda Christopher.

A study in the UK found that it affects a quarter of the ratio, while a study in the US suggests that the problem could be even more common, affecting even every other couple. Moreover, this is not a problem that only experienced heterosexual couples face. A gay Star News survey of 1,500 readers found that 53% wanted sex more often than their partner, while only 22% said they had similar sexual desires.

What affects libido?

Sexual desire can increase or decrease depending on how a person treats himself and his partner, or as a result of life events and changes, says Christopher. In fact, there are so many things that can affect the desire to have sex , from physical problems such as painful sex or ejaculation problems to stress, anxiety, and exhaustion. It can also affect depression, menopause, aging, pregnancy, childbirth, health problems, medications and contraceptives, alcohol, and drugs.

For some it is not a big problem – they assume that the level of sexual desire fluctuates and is able to talk about it openly, while for others it can cause problems or even break up the relationship.

There is a widespread belief that men have a greater desire for sex than women, but Christopher points out in his clinical experience that women tend to suffer more when they have a greater desire for sex than their partners.

“For some, this is definitely a significant problem,” says the psychotherapist, whose research in this area has found that it can negatively affect relationships and sexual satisfaction, as well as lead to conflict and significantly, affect a person’s self-esteem and identity.

How to solve the problem?

Inconsistent libido can become a problem that needs to be addressed if it causes controversy, affects a relationship or sexual satisfaction or makes one partner consider cheating on the other or questioning the future of their relationship.

However, sexual desire is not just a switch that can be turned on and off for a while. The key that can correct sexual mismatch problems is communication, says Christopher. But it’s easier said than done: polls show that couples are particularly reluctant to talk about sex. A survey of 24,000 respondents from 12 European countries found that people were not in a hurry to talk about sex with their partners or friends.

But to understand why desires differ, you need to talk about it! We need to talk about what excites you and, on the contrary, what suppresses the desire for sex. It is important to talk about what everyone wants and, of course, when is the time when you want to do it.

When it comes to your unwillingness or desire to have sex, you can overcome the problem together and reduce the potential negative effects.

Negotiations also allow both sides to find out if there is a solution or level of closeness that would be convenient for both – a compromise that works for both partners.

It is worth keeping in mind that sex does not always mean classic sexual intercourse. This could mean masturbating, touching, kissing, oral sex or using sex toys together .

In a study of 179 women in long-term relationships with men , participants were asked what they were doing to get their desire for sex back on track. Responses included: having sex even if you didn’t want to, using sex toys, physical intimacy with partners without sex, or planning sex.

What do the experts recommend?

Los Angeles sex therapist Jamila Dausone encourages people to focus on previous sexual experiences that were pleasing to both of you. Under what circumstances did you feel aroused enough to have sex? And what did you both do that was so exciting? “Focusing on things that have been successful and trying to turn them into the current situation can really help,” explains the therapist . “Use the positive experiences of the past to your advantage.”

Increasing overall intimacy in everyday life can also have a positive effect – it can mean cuddling while sitting next to a couch, hugs, holding hands and being more open to other aspects of your life.

But remember, “the absence of sex is not the end of the world,” says sex teacher Ruby Rera .

Rera, who identifies as queer and monogamous, suggests balancing our expectations for sex. “In my relationship, I go through different times when sometimes I want to have sex all the time, and so does my partner, and other times one or both of us just don’t want to for different reasons,” she explains.

When such a period comes, she encourages people to be kind to each other.

“It’s one thing not to be on one wave sexually, but when it starts to turn into resentment, it’s much harder to overcome.”

“If you can think with compassion and kindness about yourself and the situation you’re in, and then with the same kindness about other people in the situation, that’s a really good starting point,” says Rera.

And if the problem persists even after you’ve talked about it and tried to find a strategy or some middle ground, you might want to enlist the help of a professional.

“If people question the future of a relationship or are looking for another person outside of the relationship to fulfill their sexual desires,” says Christopher, “then this would be the time to seek the help of a sex and relationship therapist.”

05.27.2021.
Living together without sex. An open story of a relationship in the bedroom.

“Marriage without sex. Loss of libido. Never feel an orgasm. Reluctance to have sex with a man I love. At the age of 28, this was not the life I had imagined. Or rather, it was very far from what I had ever imagined, ” begins her honest confession to the Huffington Post with airline expert Intimacy and Sex, Airina Fair, who talks about the coolness of sex and giving in to what she really wants.

“I felt my sexual appetite from an early age – sex was important to me. However, as I quickly entered into a loving and close relationship, my libido waned. At first, the natural lubricant disappeared, it was painful to sleep. Feeling uncomfortable, ashamed, and alone, I avoided any intimacy with my husband, focusing on shopping, cooking, and homework.

Internally broken, incorrigible and worthless – I can’t escape self-deprecation. When everything turned out to be normal after the doctor’s visits, my doctor shared the holiest conclusion: “It is” normal “for a woman to lose her libido after several years in a relationship.”

I wanted to shout because nothing related to this seemed normal. Sticking to the last hope, I asked myself the question: have I been completely confused to think that it would be better if there was some “proof” in the situation that my body simply could no longer do it?

When I could hardly hold on to rational thoughts, my inner support whispered in front of me to fasten, and so I began my journey to self-knowledge. It was a journey that took me not only to my original destination, but far beyond its borders.

I had a feeling that something was missing. Something that is much superior to medical care – my connection to the body, genitals, and sexuality. It was this connection that was the key to my ability to live a fulfilling and fulfilling life. My quest helped me connect with my body, my desires, which not only made me feel good but literally nourished my soul.

There are no secrets to fantastic sex life in my dowry chest because only you can solve your problems. But I have found a way to find myself so that one can feel free in one’s body, feel excited, and have lust, which is reinforced by one’s own convictions. As an expert on intimacy and sex, this time I will share some insights that will hopefully inspire you to believe that you too can have this type of experience.

Feeling that someone craves you is not enough. It is necessary to learn to covet

“Look great to capture his attention, and he’ll put the whole world at your feet.” In the modern sense, “being sexual” is like being in the eyes of a man. Point. It also seemed normal for me to focus on my external lust – I never questioned that. I paid much more attention to how my body visually caught his attention than how it made him feel. I paid much more attention to my thoughts, quietly pondering what I was doing than to how my body was feeling. I was worried that by saying what made me ascend to heaven, I would offend his feelings.

The truth was this: I didn’t know how to feel what I wanted. I was overwhelmed by helplessness that I could not overcome. I had never learned how to have sex in my life to reach the pinnacle of my pleasure.

I started asking myself questions: what do I want? What makes me feel good? Can I give myself the green light for lust and hunger for sex just the way I wanted it? And can I ask for that?

These mostly innocent questions are now often asked by my clients, women, and men, at the highest points of their careers and lives, unfortunately without realizing what they are enjoying. They are not “spoiled” – in a way, we are all stuck in this situation, thinking about the wishes of others and expecting recognition from each other, instead of truly experiencing the peaks of pleasure ourselves. And when we stop being ashamed of our desires for a moment and start focusing on ourselves, our bodies have never felt so alive, full of energy, and glorified.

If sex is not 100% pleasant for you, your body will not want it anymore

Let’s be real. I’ve had sex so often before I’ve actually been ready for it. Before I was naughty, excited, and praying for it. Too many times I held my breath instead of asking my partner not to rush. And there have been so many times when he reaches orgasm (which was every time), but I didn’t. I convinced myself that this was “normal”, although I longed for such an experience. Thoughts came to my mind like, “And if I asked for something he hadn’t done so far, and that would push him away, would he put him in an awkward situation? What if he thinks he’s not interested in me? ”

I chose to be silent because it was easier. However, this had consequences. My body responded according to what was going on in the bedroom. I ended up, I lost my life, you could say I became frigid.

Here is the truth that every woman should hear: every time we do not feel comfortable during sex, we will want to engage in this process less and less.

Our bodies are smart. They speak on our behalf – first fine threads, then desperate cries. It is our job to listen to them.

There was no medical explanation for losing my libido. When I didn’t say a word when I wasn’t feeling well, my body stopped getting any kind of pleasure. I gave without a chance to get anything back. I endured what didn’t make me feel good. My libido is fading because I left it myself. But my goal was to find it.

When I asked exactly what and how I wanted, I began to feel touch, attention, movement, silence, and intimacy. Orgasm after orgasm and I felt my body feel again and I am aroused. The physical pleasure was not the only thing that made me feel good. I let go of shame and fear. That was the cause of the giant agitation.

Truth is the greatest excitement

I asked what I really wanted, said ‘no’ boldly, and expressed my feelings without any prohibitions – the truth excited me. Where I used to feel insecure and scared, I risked finding the freedom that fascinated me. Thinking about who I wanted to be, I began to fall in love with myself. If before that sex caused me anxiety from which it was impossible to escape, I learned how to control it and become open. Realizing my truth, I felt my heart beating faster. I wanted sex again. And I also aroused people around me – partners who equally coveted me in an open and close relationship.

If you ever want to try how it makes you feel, experiment. When you hear the little heartbeat whisper “I can’t say it,” please say it! Watch what happens to you. Gradually, greater truths are formed and revealed.

And remember, it’s not about you having to introduce your partner to a huge revolution, it’s about you and your ability to be open with yourself and who you are.

To tell the truth, we are open and allow our partners to get to know us more deeply. It is about intimacy and connection, a conversation between souls. And that’s what I wanted from the beginning, but I was too scared to face it. “

05.26.2021.
Mistakes in sex that men never forgive!

Many women who have a regular sex life often ask themselves, why can’t they fully enjoy making love, have real pleasure, or become a partner for the best woman in their life? Let’s look at what are the key mistakes in sex , which allows women, and which, when repeated over and over again, can disrupt even the happiest relationships.

Turning sex into a part of everyday life

Couples who have been together for a long time, the romantic feelings of sex that were in the beginning, gradually disappear. And it’s not just because partners are tired of each other or oversaturated, more often the main reason is the perception of sex as a part of everyday life. “Dinner, shower, sex” is a part of the schedule, but making love is a sensual and deeply emotional process.

Sexual blackmail

Women often use sex for mercantile purposes, including as a means of blackmail. “If you don’t come back from the party in time / don’t put on the shelf / don’t buy new boots – there will be no sex” – such arguments can often be heard from women’s lips. But sooner or later similar statements lead to an undesirable result and the bed remains empty and cold.

Separation from other relationships

Sex is not just a physical process. It is part of the whole spectrum of relationships – friendship, love, understanding, interests and so on. It is a common mistake of women to separate intimate intimacy with a loved one from this relationship.

Complex “I’m terrible”

Of course, we are not perfect, everyone has flaws in appearance. But when you constantly emphasize during love that something is wrong with you, you spoil the atmosphere and you cannot relax enough to receive and give pleasure.

Complex “I’m a good girl”

Intimate life is therefore already intimate, that it should not be discussed and, even more so, condemned. Only you and your partner, when you are alone, can determine what is allowed and its limits. However, women often believe that some activities in bed are signs of depravity and are unique to ladies of a certain reputation. The thought that “it’s not appropriate” completely ruins your two sex lives.

Rejection of partner’s wishes and proposals

Often during sex, a man gives a hint or openly tells about his wishes in sex, but receives a strict rejection from the woman. Even if you find something disgusting and you don’t want to do certain things, try to choose the right words or offer a compromise. For example, “Beloved, I don’t want to do this, but we can try.” However, such findings can negatively affect sexual life in general.

Silence, not showing emotions

Don’t shut up! And it’s not just about loud moaning like in adult movies. It is important for a man to hear and understand your condition, feel emotions, see the reaction to his movements and actions. The same goes for not having to endure if you are uncomfortable, painful, discomfort. The task of sex is pleasure!

An untidy woman

It is unlikely that a woman who has forgotten to take care of herself will be able to enjoy sex. After all, to enjoy the process, you should enjoy both the partner and yourself. In addition, it’s always nice to hear compliments, and if you’ve forgotten to shave your armpits, haven’t washed your hair for a long time, or walked in stretched training pants, the number of nice words will drop rapidly.

“To be like everyone else”

Quite often women have sex in spite of desire and common sense just because “everyone does.” Of course, there are statistics and girlfriends’ stories about their “achievements”, but it is so generalized or, on the contrary, subjective, because each case is individual. Feeling in bed with each because of what “it does” – a very serious mistake.

Past mistakes

The sexual experience is not always positive. Sometimes you don’t even want to remember a few moments – complete frustration. When building an intimate relationship with a new partner, there is no point in thinking immediately about your past failures and resentments. That’s what was – to stay behind, and now you should enjoy something new and beautiful.

Comparison

“It’s been better!” – such thoughts are visited by women after not the most successful nights. But to compare different men – an absolutely pointless occupation: someone better in one thing, someone in another. “Bring it to bed,” all the relationships of the past, even if some of them have only fond memories, are not worth it.

Excessive chatter

Don’t talk too much. Yes, expressing your wishes and emotions is very important and necessary, but there is no point in having an extensive dialogue during sex. Hardly a man is ready to discuss your new dress, problems at work, and a girlfriend’s husband when it comes to a completely different aspect of life. Also, you shouldn’t over-comment on what’s going on or play pleasure if you don’t really feel that way.

Wrong choice

Many women who think in stereotypes are convinced that, for example, if a man is older, he is more likely to be more experienced. Or, on the contrary, if he is young, he is more energetic than older men. Therefore, the wrong choice is made, followed by disappointment: when imagining an ideal scene, you end up facing a completely different reality that is far from your fantasies.

Acting against your wishes, beliefs

In order not to feel shame, regret and discomfort after sex, do not obey your partner, do not tolerate what you do not like, do not do what you do not want. Be faithful to your desires, principles, and emotions, because a man will most likely not want to do something that doesn’t give you pleasure.

Too early – too late

According to statistics, women start having sex at the age of about 17. But there are exceptions, and some do it much earlier, and some do so much later. In any case, it should be a voluntary will and decision. However, many women who tried to divorce more quickly at a young age suffer from the problem “too late” at a mature age, thus giving up many things. For example, they decide that in 35 years it is absolutely unacceptable to try something new because “it is too late”.

05.21.2021.
5 sex poses that will make you feel especially close again

Sex can be so different: erotic, full of humor, a little awkward, adventurous. You can have sex to mark the end of a dispute, to have a baby, or to mark a turning point in a relationship. It can be very fast or extremely slow, and there are countless poses worth trying.

And while all of these types have their benefits, sometimes we crave the most intimate and intimate sex – one that reminds us why we’re together at all. Lighted candles, erotic music in the background and massage oil will make things completely intimate. But you can also do without them – to create a physical and emotional connection with your partner, try one of these poses.

1. Missionary posture – is usually considered the most common sex posture, but it may not be boring. This posture is a great way to get closer. In it you are especially close to each other, you can make eye contact and feel each other’s bodies.

2. “Doggy style” – this may not seem like the most intimate and closest pose, but the best thing about this pose is that you can share one common thing – orgasm. This posture provides adrenaline and extremely pleasant feelings.

3. Sex in the shower – sex in the shower allows you to do it slowly, for a long time and extremely well. Warm water, pleasant smells and the closeness of a loved one perfectly relax and provide wonderful feelings.

4. Spoon posture – while having sex while enjoying your loved one’s hugs, you will release extra oxytocin, which will make you happy and aroused.

5. Lotus Pose – This pose provides face-to-face contact that provides even greater feelings than missionary posture. The bodies are close together, you feel the beloved’s heartbeat and you can look into each other’s eyes, enjoying every movement.

05.20.2021.
Sexuality and fetishes – Is it possible to define what is “normal”?

People have discovered almost endless ways to have sex – and things to do with it. Famous sex researcher Alfred Kinsi said, “The only unnatural sex is what can’t be done.”

From foot fetishes to naughty clothes or habits, fetishes are an endless rainbow of choice and practice. Although there is little research on fetishes and atypical sexual interest in humans, there is research on animal behavior that allows us to learn how and why fetishes develop.

Fetishes can be part of a healthy and playful sex life for individuals and couples.

Unfortunately, fetishes are often mistaken for a sexual deviation, so it’s easy to feel weird or ashamed of it. Many of us are ashamed to condemn things that we ourselves do not understand and have not experienced, especially when it comes to sex.

Every year, pride marches take place in many parts of the world, beginning as a social movement against repressive and discriminatory actions against the LGBTQ + community following the 1969 Stowwell riots in New York . Fifty years later, summer will once again be a time to commemorate and celebrate the diversity of sexuality.

Let’s put everyone under the cover to look more positively at these so-called “perversions”. After all, we all like some naughtiness – why not try to accept some less understandable tendencies?

WHAT ARE FETISHES?

Fetishes are not only whips and leather clothes, but also a natural curiosity that encourages us to explore the unknown areas of our sexuality.

In the past, science has claimed that fetishes are sexual deviations or perversions. However, most researchers and clinical practitioners today consider fetishes to be harmful only if they cause torture, physical harm, or violate consent .

Scientists have only recently begun to understand how different fetishes evolve. Several animal studies and reviews from some individuals suggest that fetish formation may be influenced by upbringing and Pavlov’s conditional reflexes (conditional reflexes are not born, they occur in response to an irritant such as smell, taste, sound, pain).

From the point of view of the development of Pavlov’s conditional reflexes, fetishes can be considered as rewarding the association of sexual experience with objects, actions or parts of the body that are not always sexual. This could be why different people have different fetishes.

As far as rearing is concerned, the best example is a study in which mothers of newborn goats and sheep were swapped . Goats raised lambs and sheep raised young goats. The results showed that as male goats and sheep grew older, they developed sexual tendencies towards females of the opposite species – such as their “foster mothers” – while females were more open to relationships and willing to have sex with males of both species.

Studies in rats have shown that not only humans but also animals have fetishes.

This study slightly reflects the gender gap, as the number of men with fetishes tends to significantly exceed the number of women.

These gender differences seem to be explained simply by differences in sexual orientation , where men tend to show more arousal and less abstinence from different “deviant” sexes than women. However, this does not mean that men have more psychological disorders.

FETISH DEVIATIONS

Fetishes, like any other thing in life, can be taken so far that it seems – now it’s too crazy.

Fetish-related abnormalities are characterized by two main criteria : intense sexual arousal from the use of objects or very specific parts of the body, other than the genitals, in the form of fantasies, desires, or behaviors; those which can cause great suffering or disrupt intimacy, social or professional life.

Some of them are particularly disturbing, such as exhibitionism or terry .

However, if for some reason we create associations that promote arousal and cravings for various fetishes, research also reveals that these associations can be “erased”. However, this process can be quite slow and difficult to change.

THERE IS NO DEFINITION OF THE WORD “NORMAL”

Fetishes have the potential to enhance or expand the repertoire of feelings we experience during sex.

Experimental data show that even animals become more sexually aroused when they learn to associate sex with various fetishes.

Instead of focusing on what should excite you or not, think better about how this thing fits you or your partner. Normality is in vague boundaries, and you have to decide for yourself whether to extend these boundaries or not.

There is no precise definition of what is normal or healthy in this regard . These definitions are highly context sensitive (historical time and culture). We tend to stick to things that seem to be more common, healthy, and natural: but what about what feels right?

So how do you know if you have a fetish? If there is consent and respect for each other between people, it really doesn’t matter what you do between the sheets, on the kitchen table or in your secret place.

Also this summer, as we celebrate pride, we should see it as a reminder of our colorful sexual diversity – and also of the endless forms of sex, and there is nothing unnatural about any of them.

We believe that all people should be allowed to express their sexuality, despite various stereotypes and frames called “normal”. Life is too short to waste, especially when it comes to enjoying sexuality.

05.17.2021.
For women who are more likely to have sex, menopause occurs later

On average, women around the world experience menopause around the age of 50 , but this age also varies depending on the country in which we live. In recent years, scientists have discovered other factors that affect this diversity. Earlier menopause can occur, for example, from regular smoking , and it can also depend on the age at which menstruation begins.

A new study has found that women’s sexual behavior is also linked to menopausal age. An 11-year study found that women who had sex once a week or at least once a month had a later onset of menopause than women who had less than a month of sexual activity.

Data were collected from 1996 onwards for women aged 42 to 52 years who had not yet experienced menopause. Women were grouped according to whether they had sex every week, every month, or less than once a month. Sexual activities also included oral sex, erotic touches and complacency.

Other behavioral and physiological factors were also taken into account, such as a woman’s body mass index, number of children born, level of education and estrogen levels.

Expensive ovulation

The researchers believe that this link is due to the fact that the body experiences a “compromise” between continuing ovulation and stopping fertility. Compromises are important in biology because the amount of energy that the body needs to spend on physiological processes is limited. In other words, energy used for one thing cannot be used for another, and once it is used, it is no more.

When it comes to menopause, there may come a time in life when the energy invested in ovulation can be better used elsewhere. Especially if there is no possibility that ovulation could cause pregnancy.

Ovulation requires quite a bit from a woman’s body. Not only does it take a lot of energy to maintain the eggs and release them every month, but the body’s immune function is also impaired during ovulation .

The whole point of ovulation is that the body is preparing for pregnancy, but if a woman does not have sex at that time, then, of course, it is impossible to conceive a baby.

So if the body does not receive physical indications of a possible pregnancy, what is the point of investing energy in the expensive ovulation process?

Therefore, the researchers also chose different types of sexual activity as a criterion, as they are all types of vaginal stimulation that can “fool” the body and make it think about possible pregnancy. This means that menopause can also be a little tricky.

Positive compromise

Once ovulation has stopped, energy can be spent elsewhere, such as in grandparents’ activities. This is related to existing research showing that menopause evolved over time to allow women to engage in childcare .

It is important to emphasize that this study only shows that there is a relationship between sexual activity and menopausal age, but it cannot be said that it is 100% more likely that menopause will occur later with more sex. It must be remembered that there are no processes or medical interventions that can completely prevent menopause – this is an inevitable biological process that all women have to go through.

05.11.2021.
NoFap: Does giving up masturbating increase testosterone levels?

NoFap is a popular online movement in which men are urged to give up masturbation and even sex for a long time – usually about 90 days. Launched in 2011 on Reddit, NoFap.com is now described as a community-based sexual health platform designed to help people overcome addiction to pornography and sexual abuse.

The initial benefits were only related to the recovery from pornography addiction, but now NoFap is already included in general health and lifestyle initiatives. Positive benefits include several sexual, physical, and mental improvements, including elevated testosterone levels. But is there any evidence to support this?

Testosterone has a serious effect on men’s mood and its levels have been shown to affect depression, happiness, and motivation. It is linked to muscle growth and physical performance (which is why it is a banned substance in most sports events ). Many aspects of male sexual function depend on testosterone. So what is the relationship between NoFap and testosterone?

Factual evidence

For the most part, the NoFap movement considers only two studies that support the benefits of sexual abstinence as a means of increasing testosterone. The first study involved ten men whose testosterone levels were measured before and ten minutes after orgasm. This was followed by a three-week period during which they were instructed to refrain from any form of sexual activity. After this period, the process was repeated. Testosterone levels were reported to be higher after the withdrawal period.

Despite the findings, this study was too small. The increase in testosterone levels was probably related to the accumulated sexual arousal in anticipation of the second round of the experiment. In addition, testosterone levels in the first round of experiments were virtually the same before and after abstinence, with the second measurement slightly different. So, in the absence of more data, it is not possible to say that abstinence increases testosterone at all.

The second study reported a 45% increase in testosterone levels after seven days of abstinence. But it was a temporary peak, which then, even with continued abstinence, returned to the same level as before, and remained so. Such transient changes in testosterone levels are unlikely to have a lasting effect on men’s health.

Some studies, on the other hand, have shown that abstinence has no effect on testosterone, or that its levels are higher after masturbation or sex. Testing testosterone before and immediately after masturbation in 34 healthy young men found that its levels increased after complacency. But the effects have not been tested over a long period. Thus, the evidence linking masturbation to changes in testosterone levels is incomplete and leads to different conclusions.

Contrary to the arguments of the NoFap movement, many qualitative studies are available on the health benefits of sexual activities, including masturbation. The release of endorphins during orgasm causes positive sensations. Self-satisfaction can help reduce accumulated stress and help to relax, improve sleep and mood, relieve sexual tension and cramps, and even allow for a better understanding of sexual desires and needs. A study has even concluded that regular ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer.

Psychological reasons

In fact, masturbation as such does not appear to affect sexual or general health in general, especially for testosterone levels in men. The problem may lie in over-enjoying the activity.

Everyone’s personal perception of this process can have psychological consequences that affect testosterone levels. If you feel guilty after masturbating, you may experience anxiety and depression over time. It could be based on an immoral feeling, for example, that someone may feel unfaithful to their partner in this way, or it could also be a religious conflict. A study examining the motivation to abstain found that the reason was mainly the attitude, especially the perception of masturbation as unhealthy or incorrect.

This stress, caused by prolonged guilt, anxiety, and depression, can lead to a drop in testosterone levels. These would be the cases where abstinence could theoretically lead to an increase in testosterone levels. Abstinence from masturbation could also help people with devastating pornographic addictions. However, the health benefits of NoFap are unclear, and there is simply no qualitative evidence that abstinence alters testosterone levels.

So starting a NoFap period to improve your health is of course welcome, and in some aspects of life, there may even be noticeable improvements. But keep in mind that there is no reason to believe that NoFap will significantly increase your testosterone levels.

05.11.2021.